Born Again
by Nozomi Shio
Summary: Heero Yuy had been missing for two years. Duo searches for him, and stumbles onto a person who had everything taken away from him. Now, it's up to Duo to help his friend to be reborn and live his life again. READ WARNING INSIDE!
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: Gundam Wing, despite my wishful thinking, does not belong to me. This story, however, does. Live with it. :P

Summary: The year is AC 199 and Heero Yuy had been missing for two years now. Duo searches for him, and when he finally finds his friend, he stumbles onto a person who had EVERYTHING stripped off and taken away from him. Now, it's up to Duo to help his friend to be reborn and live his life again.

Warning: **For this chapter: PG-13.** The rest of the story is rated NC-17 for: angst, graphic NCS, some OOC. 2+1, 2x1, 2x2, 1x1, OCx1, 1xOC, 2xOC, 5xS, 3x4.

Author's note: This story is **_complete_** but since it is not fit to be posted on I'm only posting the first few chapters here – the ones that are rated PG-13. The rest of the story can be found on my site: www . duoxheero . com / fanfics / born1 . html (copy this URL and delete the spaces).

Enjoy.

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BORN AGAIN

PROLOGUE

IN THE SHADOWS

It was three years after the end of the Eve Wars. The year - After Colony 199. Thirty-six months had past since five young men descended from the Colonies and to the Earth. Their mission- to battle an army far more powerful than their small group. Few, but united, they fought within enormous Mobile Suits that demolished evil and paved the road to peace. Now, three years later, those same Mobile Suits, those same fearsome Gundams, were mere piles of scrap, lying dead, rusty and sooty under the harsh rays of an unforgiving sun.

The madman's paradise of war - of blood, smoke and tears - was now silent and empty. The battle scars that disfigured the green Earth were now slowly healing. The stench that reeked from the blood-soaked soil was gradually fading away. Nature was slowly reclaiming what the war of man had taken. The Earth was finally at peace, along with the moon, the sun and the stars shining in the heavens. Nature seemed to be blossoming in joy at the feeling of harmony and peace that was bestowed upon it.

Warm rays of sunshine washed over the lush vegetation. Birds chirped happily as they cut through the clear blue skies and landed on thick green branches. Various bugs buzzed as they crossed the green meadow, collecting honeydew from colorful flowers. Within the tall green grass of the meadow with a small stream, stood a lone, shabby cabin.

Unlike its beautiful and rich surroundings, the small wooden house looked old and neglected. The rotten wooden boards were covered with lichen and reeking from dampness. The windows, most of them cracked or broken, were covered by thick wooden boards, which were nailed to the walls. The roof was missing a few of its dark brown tiles, and some of the tiles were hanging by an invisible force that was somehow preventing them from falling. On a narrow gravel road that cut through the green meadow, ending at the foot of the cabin, stood a large green van, a capital 'P' marking it. The whole house gave off a dark and melancholic atmosphere, as if a dark cloud were hovering above it, even though the skies were of the clearest blue. However, nature seemed to ignore the house, choosing to be mindless of its existence and just continued to bloom and radiate life.

As the sun slowly traveled through the skies, making its way towards the horizon, a lone figure stood frozen in his spot, watching the ramshackle house. His hair, chestnut in color, was gathered into a long braid that was nearly falling apart. A soft breeze tousled some stray hairs that escaped the wobbly hairdo. Long bangs swung left and right as they brushed over a sad and lonely pair of eyes. Those eyes, large and expressional, were looking ahead at the neglected shack. The deep blue of the skies reflected within the purple-blue orbs as the gazed silently at the small house. Their gaze radiated longing, hope, desperation and fear. They watched the small house silently, as if praying.

The soft grass moving like waves across the ocean engulfed the lonely figure. The wind carried the sweet scent of blossoming, but the beauty around him failed to reach the man's consciousness as he watched the house silently, deep in thought.

"Are you sure you're okay?" A woman's voice whispered softly, as a gentle hand was laid on the young man's shoulder. She was looking at him with worried blue eyes, here curly brown hair also tousled by the wind.

The young man turned his head away from the old house he was watching, nodding just slightly. "Dun worry, Sally." He sighed, bowing his head briefly. "...I'll be fine." He tried to add a reassuring smile, but it faltered. Former Gundam pilot Duo Maxwell, was NOT in a smiling mood.

"This is one of the last on the list," Sally reminded him, her hand squeezing his shoulder lightly. She looked down at his solemn face and her heart ached as if it were bleeding. She tapped on his jacket lightly, trying to offer some sort of comfort. His jacket was the same as hers, both of them working for the same organization. Their jackets, marked with the same capital letter as the van - a large 'P', signified the organization they belonged to: Preventers. It was the organization founded for the keeping of peace and order around the world, and to prevent any future wars. Right now, thought, the two Preventer agents were working on a totally different case.

The young woman sighed and looked down at the small folder she held in her hand. Her weary blue eyes scanned over the long list that was attached to it, until it reached the bottom of it. She sighed and looked up at her fellow agent. "There are only five more left."

Duo nodded, looking away solemnly. "Yeah, I know." He chuckled bitterly, turning to look over his shoulder. "At least Fei will get off my back for dragging him around the world all the time."

"Don't worry about Chang. He's a big boy, he can manage," the woman answered teasingly, following suit as Duo looked toward the van. There, loading his backpack onto his shoulder and taking a gun into his hand, was Chang Wufei, a fellow Preventer, an ex-comrade and also her husband.

"Lets go." The Chinese man stated, walking up to them.

Duo sighed heavily and walked after the two Preventers. This would be the last time he was going to do this. No more walking into houses in the middle of nowhere, no more secret meetings in the dead of the night, no more people tricking him, giving him false leads and answers. For two years he had been searching, hoping, looking... He was tired of his quest. He had lost his hope long ago. He had lost it the day that Heero Yuy had disappeared.

It took about three months for the Preventers to come to the conclusion that the ex-Wing pilot was kidnapped. It was hard to believe, considering the fact that Heero was a well-trained soldier and could not be taken down easily. There were no signs of struggle in the small place Heero had rented for himself after the war. There were no witnesses to account for what had happened, and there were no clues for continuing the investigation.

People tried to convince Duo that Heero simply wanted to disappear, but he refused to listen. He knew that Heero wouldn't just leave like that. Hell, he knew Heero better than the boy knew himself. He knew that there was no way he would leave without at least sending him a note. They had gotten too close during the war for Heero to do that. He would at least mention that he was leaving. He would have at least said his goodbye.

But the evidence of the case was against Duo. The Preventers wanted to toss the case aside, unwilling to even consider it as foul play. After all, no one could make Ex-Gundam pilot Heero Yuy disappear. Duo knew it was bullshit and he opened his own, private, investigation.

Wufei and Sally were a big support with helping him through it. For two years the three had been working on the case, and Duo grew envious of the two as they became closer and closer. It was no big surprise that merely a year after the war, the two got married, making Duo feel very VERY alone. He missed Heero... he wanted to be with him again... he wanted the same happiness his two friends shared. But that happiness would be denied him until he found Heero.

Two years of searching had brought him here, to this house. It was one of the last on his long list, and it was his last hope. If he couldn't find him here, he would have to face what people had been telling him for the last two years - Heero Yuy was dead.

The door to the house was locked, but he had no trouble opening it. It creaked as it opened, as though it hadn't done so in a long time. Its creaking echoed throughout the hollow hall in front of the three as they walked deeper into the dark house. The smell inside was awful, the stench giving the impression that something had crawled inside and died a long time ago, something… or someone.

They split into three; each armed with a gun and a flashlight, and made their way through the semi darkness of the place, their footsteps echoing in the dead silence that engulfed them. Dust particles danced in the air, shining in the thin rays of light that escaped through the covered windows. Duo walked slowly and carefully, ears and eyes strained to pick any sign of life. Or any sign of anything, really.

But the place was empty. Various things were lying discarded, seemingly untouched for years. The place was filthy, smelly and messy, but no signs of struggle were evident. It just looked like whoever had lived here was not too concerned about his surroundings.

After a long while of searching, they came up with nothing. Again.

Duo came back down to the living room, defeated. Sally was waiting for him there, while Chang was still searching.

"I'm so sorry, Duo. Maybe next time," Sally offered kindly.

Duo only shook his head, shoulders slumped, saying, "There won't be a next time, Sal. He's gone. I should start facing it."

An unbearable silence fell between the two as Sally searched for words to comfort the young man.

Suddenly, Duo's head snapped up and he looked around, eyes wide.

"What is it, Duo?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Shhh!" He strained his ears, eyes narrowing in concentration. "There it is again!" he whispered, beginning to follow the direction of the sound.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" the woman asked, afraid that the boy was becoming delusional.

"Shh... listen!" He replied quietly, still walking after the sound. It was a consistent, dull and vague sound, like something banging against a surface of wood.

After a short of search, the two reached a door, far off in the edge of the small house. It was no real wonder that they have missed it during their searching. The door was located at the end of the hall, right underneath the staircase, hidden behind a few large crates, concealed by shadows.

Boom!

The banging seemed to come from behind the door.

"A basement?" Sally offered as she approached Duo from behind. The braided man was examining the door with sharp eyes, after already clearing the large wooden crates away from the small wooden door.

Boom!

This time there was no mistake; someone was thrusting himself against the door, from the inside.

Boom!

"Oh God!" Sally called, "There's someone in there!"

Boom!

But the sound was still too dim to be coming from around the door they were facing. It had to come from somewhere down the basement.

Boom!

"Stay back," Duo hissed as he prepared to kick the door open.

Boom!

With one swift kick, the door flung aside, its crashing causing Wufei to appear, running in their direction, gun ready.

"What's going on!"

BOOM!

The sound came more clearly this time, making Duo's heart race. He ignored Wufei and began climbing down the stairs into the dark basement.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

This time the sound was accompanied by a muffled cry, a sad and pathetic sound, like that of a trapped animal trying its best to escape.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Again the keening sound came and Duo followed it to a different door, at the far end of the dark basement.

"There's another door," he informed the two Preventers who were standing behind him, looking at him anxiously.

"Can you kick it open?" Wufei asked, coming to stand next to his friend.

BOOM!

"Not a good idea." Duo informed him, the statement lacking his usual mirth. "It might crash on whoever's trapped in there."

"What then?" the Chinese agent asked.

"Gimme a few seconds," Duo muttered with a sigh, pulling something out of his pocket.

BOOM!

He began to pick the lock.

BOOM!

The door was opened in no time. Without a word, Duo slowly twisted the knob and slipped into the room.

The chamber was completely dark, not a ray of light to illuminate it. The air was thick and suffocating, clearly suggesting that there were no windows or a source of fresh air. The faint sound of a fan could be heard from somewhere inside, and Duo guessed that there was a vent to provide air to the small room. He narrowed his eyes, trying to see in the dark as he took a few careful steps forward. He could tell that Wufei was right behind him, but he ignored him for the moment.

There was someone in the room. He could feel it.

Listening carefully, he could hear the creature breathe, the sound of quick breaths being drawn echoing in the dark room.

"Hello?" Duo called, his voice faltering a little, "Is someone here?"

There was only silence to answer his question, and then more of the frantic breathing.

"Heero?" Duo dared to ask, voice hopeful.

But whoever it was, he or she wasn't answering.

"Do you have a light?" Sally's voice came from behind.

Duo nodded and tucked his gun away. He reached a hand for his backpack and drew out a flashlight. A loud CLICK echoed in the room as Duo switched the flashlight on, and a sharp stream of light cut through the darkness of the room.

A small wailing voice was heard from somewhere below, so small and frightened it sent a sickening feeling to Duo's stomach.

He pointed the flashlight forward, its bright beam roaming through the darkness around him. As he reached one of the distant corners he saw something crawl-by, like a small animal or something, towards the other corner of the room. Wondering what the hell did he just saw, Duo followed the motion with his light.

And gasped.

Sitting huddled in the corner of the room, was a slim figure, curled up into a fetal position, rocking back and forth as it hugged something close to its chest. Duo narrowed his eyes, examining the weeping figure. His eyes widened as he saw that the person's eyes were blinded, covered by a thick black cloth. The wrists and ankles were cuffed and chained. Clad only in thin, filthy fabric - a large and ragged old shirt that was too big for the slender and trembling body - the figure reeked of filth and dirt. The figure's head was a mass of long and messy hair, reaching down to the shoulders. The hair, dirty and smelly, covered the figure's head in a messy tangle of dark strings.

Duo swallowed hard. With shaking feet he took a step forward, the sound of his footsteps making the figure's head jerk up, and 'look' around blindly. He gasped again as his eyes fell upon the famished face that tried to look around in confusion, even though blinded.

Duo slowly leaned down, crouching in front of the trembling creature. He placed the light on the floor, the beam aimed forward, illuminating the slim figure. Taking a deep breath, he slowly reached up a hand, trying to pull away the thick blindfold. But the small boy (or at least he assumed it was a boy) shrieked in fear and pulled deeper within himself, pressing his back against the wall.

Duo sighed and let his hand down. "I'm not gonna hurt ya," he whispered, reaching for the blindfold again, "I'm here to help."

Again the slender boy whimpered and pulled away, burying his face in his knees, still curled in a fetal position.

Duo sighed and looked away, tears in his eyes. He had to take a few moments to collect himself, before looking up again. "Please," he whispered, his tone gentle, "I'm just here to help."

Again the boy whimpered pathetically, shrinking his already small body even more if possible.

Duo sighed sadly and gently placed a hand under the boy's chin. "Look at me, please, I won't hurt you."

Slowly, he lifted the boy's head up, and the boy offered no resistance, though he was trembling in fear.

Duo's eyes widened with shock as he looked down at the boy's face. Gasping, he brought two hands up to cover his mouth, his movements slow and stiff. His eyes would not leave the shocking sight before of him.

Framed by nearly shoulder-length hair, accompanied by long and messy bangs, was the face of one Heero Yuy.

Duo let out an anguished cry and fell back to the floor. He was beginning to hyperventilate, looking with wide eyes at the parody of once a strong soldier that was presented before him. His feet and hands began to tremble and he had to take deep and long breaths in order to calm down.

The boy on the floor jerked his blindfolded head up, 'looking' around in fear. He raised his trembling and cuffed hands up, shielding his head as if thinking he was about to be hit. He began to cry, sobbing and whimpering quietly while his body rocked back and forth. His lips formed words, mere whispers, his voice choked from tears and full of fear. But he wasn't making any sense, his words jumbled and incoherent.

Duo just kept standing there, completely shocked, unable to move. He forced himself to breathe, looking down fearfully.

Wufei and Sally were still right behind him, looking pale and shocked as well.

Suddenly, the clatter of wood against the cold floor echoed through the small chamber. All looked down and gasped as they saw Heero's thin and cuffed hands searching blindly in the dark, his dirty fingers feeling around while he whimpered desperately.

Duo shook his head forcefully, forcing himself to snap out of it. He lifted his flashlight up just in time to see the blindfolded boy quickly crawl towards him. He was holding a wooden bowl between his teeth, looking a lot like a little abused puppy as he crawled towards him. He stopped as he nearly bumped into Duo's feet, and then settled on his knees, two restrained hands holding up the small wooden bowl.

Duo just kept gaping, still in shock.

As time went by and no one made a move, Heero nudged Duo's feet with the bowl, looking up at him, and although blindfolded, Duo could see the plea on his face. Heero whimpered, turning his blinded head from side to side, as if 'looking' around, body language radiating uncertainty. He then whimpered again, turning to look back up at Duo, his lips trembling as if he was about to cry.

"I think he's thirsty," Sally finally spoke and withdrew a small bottle from her backpack. She bent forward and spilled the water into the bowl.

"Could be why he was so desperate to get out," Wufei spoke for the first time, his gaze numb as he watched his wife pour the water into the small bowl.

As soon as the sound of running water cut through the darkness of the room, Heero whirled his head to look down at his bowl, a little smile forming on his lips. And no sooner had Sally withdrew than he bent forward, sticking his head into the bowl. Drinking the water hungrily, looking a lot like an abused puppy drinking out of its bowl. Once he was done he hurried to wipe his mouth in an almost feral-like manner, then began to 'look' around again, seeming hesitant. Slowly, he turned back to face the tall figure that towered above him, and reached his bowl up again, carefully, looking fearful and hesitant. He nudged the bowl upward, face begging for more.

Again Sally gave him more to drink and he repeated the process as before, as three shock-wide pair of eyes looked down at him.

Once done drinking, he placed the bowl down, and blew air out of his lungs, trying to push up the messy bangs out of his face. He sighed, and then turned his head up slowly, looking up at Duo. Raising both of his cuffed hands, he gestured at his mouth, serving his fingers towards his open mouth, as if feeding himself. "Yum...yum..." He begged quietly, face still turned up at Duo. "Mumm…" he stammered, face pleading.

Duo realized what he was asking and hurried to stick his hand into his jacket's pocket, pulling out a candy bar. Heero's head jerked up again at the sound of the unwrapping and he looked like that little puppy again, bouncing happily as he waited for his treat. Duo kneeled down in front of him, offering him the candy. Heero's hands searched the dark until he found the treat, his dirty fingers curling around it, tracing it up and down, and trying to figure out what it was. Then suddenly, he snatched the candy out of Duo's grip and hurried back to his corner.

Duo looked up after him, shock and disbelief still written all over his face. He watched in amazement as Heero huddled back in his corner, and picked up the thing he had been holding when they first got in. It was a little ragged teddy bear.

Duo felt his heart clench as he looked upon his ex-partner, now feeding the bear as he hugged it close, speaking softly to it in an unknown language. He was looking down at the small bear through his blindfold, smiling to it as he fed it the treat.

"I don't..." Duo murmured in shock, slowly getting up. "I don't... understand…" He whirled around to face the two Preventers. "What happened to him!"

"I don't know," Sally answered softly, still looking at Heero as he served one bite of the treat to himself, then to the stuffed toy. She tore her eyes away, turning to face Duo. "But we need to get him out of here."

Somehow, Duo managed to nod his head in agreement, and slowly, carefully approached the small figure. He held his flashlight close to him, pointing at Heero's huddled form. The smaller boy didn't seem affected by the strong light, his blindfold preventing him from seeing the approaching young man. He continued sitting with his back against the wall, his body folded into a small human ball as he squeezed himself into the corner, his knees tucked under his chin as he ate his treat, seeming very occupied with his small meal.

Tears ran down Duo's numb pale features as he kneeled down in front of the boy, looking at him with eyes full of sorrow and anguish. He looked carefully at the small huddled figure, illuminated by his flashlight. His skin was so pale it appeared to be see-through. His wrists and ankles were so fragile looking; he could clearly see the bumps that represented frail bones. He could do nothing but stare at him for a the longest time, his wide eyes studying him with disbelief, starting from the top of his head, down to messy shoulder-length hair, to his ragged and dirty shirt, and finally to his cuffed hands and thin white legs. He could not believe what he was seeing.

Was this the same Heero Yuy he had last seen two years ago? Was this the strong and unbeatable pilot who had saved the world... twice? Was this the friend he had been dreaming of meeting again? The boy he had fallen hopelessly in love with a few years back? The young man he dreamed of, lusted for and cared for? Was this really the same person?

Looking at the pathetic creature, he was given the answer he was not interested in hearing.

There must be some sort of mistake... Heero could never be like this! He was so strong... so powerful... he held the hopes of millions in his hands and he had made those hopes come true! He was the one who you could always count on to be strong, to be brave, to be a... a hero.

Was this... boy really Heero Yuy? Were they really the same person?

Duo looked up at the small figure in front of him, tears sliding out of his violet eyes. "Heero?" he whispered, wishing with every fiber of his being that the figure would just stare at him and say 'no, you must have the wrong person. I am not Heero Yuy.'

But the boy just ignored him and continued to eat his treat, chewing on it carefully, 'looking' down at the candy bar and refusing to lift his head up at Duo's direction.

"Heero," he tried again, hearing Sally take a step closer to the two of them.

But the boy remained silent, making Duo wonder if he was deaf. He noticed that the smaller man was trembling slightly, more likely from fear than the cold. His face turned into a compassionate expression as he hesitantly reached up a hand and placed it on the boy's shoulder. He winced as he felt how skinny it was, able to feel the thin bone through the fabric of the shirt.

The boy flinched, startled and apparently frightened. His whole body tensed and he whimpered pathetically, 'looking' around blindly in fright.

"Heero," Duo tried again, voice choked from tears. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Na!" The boy called, his voice panicked. He pushed Duo's hand away, his body shaking in fear. He pulled his teddy bear closer, brining it to his chest and protecting it with his whole body.

Duo sighed, closing his eyes briefly, squeezing out tears. After a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes and looked up at Heero again. His eyes widened painfully as he saw two silver trails of tears slide down the boy's filthy cheeks, pouring from behind the thick blindfold. He reached up his hand again, wanting to comfort the terrified boy, but before he could reach him, Heero moved.

He gently put the teddy aside and took a deep breath, before finally turning back to face Duo. He settled himself on all fours. More tears slid down his cheeks as he positioned himself in front of Duo, his back facing the other boy so that his bare bottom was offered right to him. His pale lips were trembling as if he was on the verge of crying, his whole body trembling in fear. But he remained like that, motionless, waiting for Duo to act.

Duo's eye widened impossibly in shock, unable to believe what he was seeing. A choked sob was forced out of his throat and he felt his heart shattering. "No. No!" He cried, shaking his head while tears filled his eyes. "No Heero, not that! God!"

Heero bowed his head and whimpered sadly, his trembling increasing.

Gently, Duo reached down and placed two hands on the boy. Heero called out in fear, his body tensing. But he showed no resistance as Duo gently spun him around and forced him to sit on his knees, facing him. "God... Heero... what happened to you..?" He whispered, voice choked from tears.

Heero remained with his head bowed, crying silently while his whole body trembled in fear.

Wiping away his own tears, Duo reached down a hand a gently caresses Heero's cheek. "It's okay. I'm here to help you..." He whispered soothingly, slowly brining his hand up, taking a hold on the thick blindfold. "I'm just gonna take this off." He whispered, tugging at the blindfold.

Heero's head jerked up as he nudged the black cloth, beginning to pull it off of his eyes.

"Na!" He begged, pushing Duo's hand away with both his hands. "Na..." He pleaded him, 'looking' up in his direction, more tears sliding down his pale face, lips pouting.

"It won't hurt." Duo promised, slowly taking the blindfold off despite the boy's protest.

"NAHHH!" He screamed, closing his eyes tight and shielding his face the minute the blindfold was off. "Pwease... na... pwease..." He whispered, frightened, weeping silently as he rocked from side to side. He refused to open his eyes, burying his face in his knees as he threw two arms over his head, shielding himself from some unknown danger.

Duo sniffled again, his vision blurry from tears. There was no denying it anymore. The face of the trembling boy was none other than the face of Heero Yuy. He was a lot thinner now, his cheekbones highlighted more than ever, his face resembling those of a famished child. He was so pale, his skin sickly colored, and tears slid down his cheeks like waterfalls.

"Heero," Duo whispered, looking down at the weeping boy with tearful violet eyes, "Heero, look at me. It's me, Duo. I'm not going to hurt you."

But the boy ignored him and curled deeper within himself, crying and pleading in an unknown language.

Behind Duo, Sally shook her head sadly and took a few steps forward, her eyes also shimmering with tears. She knelt down by the boy, looking down at his dirty face. With a heavy sigh, she reached down two hands and gently placed them on his bony shoulders.

Heero whimpered sadly, his trembling increasing.

Slowly, carefully, Sally pulled him closer, holding him in her arms.

"It's all right," she soothed him, petting his hair gently. "We're here to help you," she whispered softly, caressing the boy. Heero cried silently in her arms, shaking his head and mumbling incoherent words.

"What is he saying?" Duo whispered, worried violet eyes looking up at Sally.

"I don't know," the woman answered sorrowfully, shaking her head, "but I don't think that he understands us."

"Is he deaf?" Wufei finally spoke, coming to stand next to the two.

"I don't know that either." Sally sighed, bowing her head and looking down at the boy in her arms. His face was buried against her chest, his cuffed hands clutching her shirt as if his life depended on it. He was still crying, his body quaking with fearful sobs.

"We have to take him to a hospital," she finally said, looking at Wufei with worried eyes. "We have to get him out of here."

"I'll take him," Duo let out in a solemn voice, reaching two hands to take Heero. He carefully gathered the weeping boy into his arms, wincing as he felt how light he was. His body was nothing but skin and bones, trembling with cold and fear. His dirty shirt was barely enough to conceal his thin and fragile form, and he could feel the handcuffs press against his chest.

Duo looked down at Heero's hands and anger boiled inside of him. Heero's slim arms seemed so pale and frailer than ever, and he could actually see the bumps of Heero's wrist bone through his pale skin. He was so thin and fragile, Duo was afraid that if he will hold him too hard, he would break.

He turned to Wufei, his gaze fierce. Without word, the Chinese man hurried to take the handcuffs off. As he released Heero's slender wrists from the cuffs, the boy let out a choked cry, inching closer to Duo and pressing his hands against the braided boy's chest. He buried his head in Duo's shoulder and refused to look up, his breath frantic. He still didn't dare to open his eyes.

Slowly, Duo began to make his way out of the room. With each step he took, Heero seemed to become more and more frightened. He was shaking so hard, it was difficult for Duo to hold him. He slowly pulled his head up and carefully, hesitantly, cracked his eyes open. The minute he saw all the people around him and the brightness pouring in from the door, he began to look around frantically, his pale and dirty face fearful and distressed. As Duo approached the door and light touched Heero's skin, the boy began to make all sorts of pathetic sounds of distress, whimpering and weeping pleadingly in Duo's arms.

"What's wrong with him?" Duo asked, looking worriedly at Sally.

The woman just shook her head helplessly, "I don't think that he was let out of this room."

"N-na-nah!" Heero screamed, beginning to struggle in Duo's hold. "Na! Na!" he called, panicked, trying to push Duo away.

"Heero, come on, we're not gonna hurt you!" Duo promised, his voice desperate. "Heero! Please!"

"NAHHH! --Ooshiiii!" The boy screamed, kicking Duo with an unexpected burst of strength. Fear must have given him enough adrenaline to break free of Duo's hold and he fell down to the floor with a loud THUD!

Scrambling up on all fours, Heero quickly crawled back to his corner, folding himself to a fetal position, and picked up his bear from the floor. He began rocking from side to side, holding his bear close to his chest, hugging it tightly. He was now panting hard from his effort, and tears falling freely down his cheeks like waterfalls. He had the look of a small, frightened puppy, making Duo's heart clench painfully.

The three looked down at their friend, helpless.

Sally was the first one to recover, and she slowly made her way towards Heero. She kneeled down beside him, her eyes warm and compassionate as she gently placed her hand on his trembling shoulder.

"It's okay," she whispered soothingly, reaching up another hand to pet his hair. "We are not going to hurt you," she promised, her tone soft and reassuring. She continued to pet his long and messy hair, gently soothing him until his trembling ceased.

Duo sighed in relief and Wufei just stood there, watching silently, a numb look in his eyes. He was too shocked to move.

"I'm sorry," Sally whispered, reaching for her small bag and pulling out a syringe. Sighing heavily, she injected the boy, and soon his rocking ceased and his body went limp, his hands dangling lifelessly at his sides.

"I'm sorry," She whispered again, looking up at Duo with tearful eyes.

Duo didn't answer and merely bent down to pick Heero's unconscious form off the floor. Taking a deep breath, he began to walk towards the door, tears running down his pale cheeks. His features were cold and composed, but his eyes were turmoil of emotions. Numb with pain and glazed over with tears, the violet depths were a whirlpool of fear, hate, anger, sorrow and sadness. He refused to look down at the trembling boy in his arms, and forced his stiff legs to walk up the stairs and out of the basement. He forced himself not to think or feel anything right now. There would be time for that later. Right now, he needed to make sure that Heero was safe and well taken care of. So, settling with the small comfort that Heero was finally in his arms, Duo continued walking.

Inside the dark cell, Wufei came to stand next to his wife and reached down a hand, helping her to get up. "There was nothing else you could have done, Sally," he said, still holding her hand.

Sally nodded sadly and wiped her tears away. "I know." She looked up at Duo, who was already walking out of the room, Heero in his arms. She watched as Duo began climbing out of the basement, Heero's lifeless body in his hands, his head and limbs dangling down, swinging form side to side as Duo walked. She sighed and looked away, closing her eyes sadly. "But I don't know what's wrong with him, Chang." She whispered, bending down to pick the ragged and dirty bear off the floor. She held it in her hands, staring down at it numbly, tears falling from her eyes and onto the scruffy brown fur.

Wufei placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, his onyx eyes looking up at her in compassion. "I'm sure he will be fine," he assured her quietly. "Trust me Sally, I speak from experience when I say that there is NOTHING Heero Yuy cannot do."

If only he would have known how wrong one man could possibly be.

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To be continued...

Author's note: This story is **_complete_** but since it is not fit to be posted on I'm only posting the first few chapters here – the ones that are rated PG-13. The rest of the story can be found on my site: www . duoxheero . com / fanfics / born1 . html (copy this URL and delete the spaces).


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: The fic is complete but not fully suitable to this site so if u wanna read the rest you will be able to find it on my site: http/ www .duoxheero .com / fanfics .html

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**Born Again - Twilight Time / Naomi**

"I found the kidnapper in the bedroom. He was dead," Wufei's voice spoke up in the silent office, back at the Preventers headquarters. It was late at night, and the city lights were sparkling outside the large window that stood behind the desk Wufei was facing. "Forensics says the body is at least eight days old, which could explain the victim's attempt for escape."

"Did he depend solely on the kidnapper for food and water?" a harsh voice spoke up in question.

Wufei nodded, "It appears so, ma'am. By what I've seen, the victim was not capable of taking care of himself."

The woman who had spoken the question earlier nodded her head, long brown hair shining under the lights of the office. She placed a finger under her chin, thinking. "Do we have a clear ID on the kidnapper?"

"Yes," Wufei answered, nodding his head. "I had to ask them to check and double check it. The answer might seem a little... bizarre."

"How so?" the woman asked, looking up at him with sharp brown eyes.

Sighing, the Chinese officer slid a folder across the desk and the woman caught it in her hands. "The body was a more than a week old and already began to decay," he explained as the woman leafed through the folder, scanning the forensics data. "What we know for sure is that he was a seventy three year old male, and he died of a heart attack. As to his identity, I had some people down in section four run a picture of the body through a computer. They restored it and by what I saw, I think you might recognize him," he said just as the woman flipped the page to look over the pictures.

Her brown eyes widened briefly. "I suppose that I should recognize him, yes." She muttered with a sigh and closed the folder, "but I don't see how can he still be alive after the war."

Sighing, Wufei could do nothing but shake his head. "I haven't the slightest, ma'am. Sally thinks that his body's metallic composition was the reason he was able to survive the Libra explosion. It was merely a matter of piecing himself back together."

"And we didn't know about this? Obviously this process costs money! And how can an old and crippled man take down an ex-Gundam pilot! I want answers, Chang!" The woman roared, jumping up a little and punching the table in frustration, causing a small nameplate to jump up a little, the letters shining under the dim light as they spelled: 'Head director L. Une'.

"I'm afraid that I have none at the moment, ma'am," the Chinese agent replied solemnly.

Une sighed and slumped back into her seat. "I know. I'm sorry," she mumbled, bowing her head and rubbing the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath and released it with a sigh, before finally speaking. "How is he?"

"Sally's checking him over at the moment, ma'am."

"Is Maxwell with him?"

"Yes ma'am."

Again the woman sighed. "I guess I owe him an apology then. I never thought he would be able to find him," she mumbled, getting up from her seat.

Wufei smiled sadly, getting up as well, "Maxwell is too stubborn to give up just like that, ma'am. There's no need to apologize for the obvious. He would have done it if you agreed or not."

Une smiled bitterly and picked up her jacket. "I suppose you're right," she answered as the two walked towards the door. She locked her office and the two began walking towards the elevator. "Who's watching the baby?" she asked in a more cheerful tone.

"Oh, Sally got our usual sitter. Though I hate paying extra for making her work so late at night," Wufei sighed and shook his head. He pushed the button on the elevator. "Can't wait to get home to see her."

Une smiled sadly, "Yes, I know what you mean. I missed Mari's recital because of a stupid meeting up in the capital."

Wufei sighed, leaning against the elevator's wall and folding two arms over his chest. "I just hope that everything will turn out all right and we can all go home happy."

"Me too," Une agreed, sighing sadly, "Me too..."

"How is he?" Duo let out worriedly the minute Sally walked into the hallway, after exiting a small examination room. He had been sitting in the hallway for what seemed like an eternity, waiting and dreading and biting his nails until he couldn't take it anymore and he began pacing. It was now late at night, and Duo was still waiting. Wufei had gone to the Preventers office to report everything to Une. Duo knew that he was supposed to be there a well, but he refused to do anything until he was certain that Heero was all right.

As the door finally opened, he halted, whirling around to face one very tired-looking Sally.

"Is he okay?" Duo whispered fearfully, looking up at her with hopeful violet eyes.

The Chinese woman sighed deeply, shaking her head as she closed the door behind her. She slowly turned to face Duo, "You better sit down, Duo," she said, her eyes full of anguish

Taking a shaky breath, Duo slowly lowered himself into one of the plastic seats. He wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers, his heartbeat racing. "Wha-what did you find?" he asked, his voice shaking.

Sally sat down beside him, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She looked deeply into his eyes for a few long moments, before finally speaking, "Duo, this isn't going to be easy to hear. Are you sure you're ready for his?"

"Yes! Yes! Tell me! God... please! What's wrong with him?" Duo cried, his pain filled eyes pleading her.

The woman nodded her head slowly, taking a deep breath. "A physical examination had revealed an extensive amount of both physical, and sexual, abuse," she began slowly, giving Duo time to take this all in. It wasn't easy for her to say it, and she let the doctor part of her mind speak the words in a calm and neutral tone.

"He is suffering from severe malnutrition and dehydration." She took another deep breath, and allowed Duo the time to take it all in, "Though his dental hygiene suggests that he was taken care of. I can only assume that the kidnapper washed him and kept him healthy, until he died." She sighed heavily, closing her eyes briefly before looking up at Duo again, "But I fail to understand why he kept Heero blinded while he was held inside a dark cell. And also, aside from being blindfolded, we found earplugs in his ears."

"Earplugs," Duo whispered, voice heavy with tears. "That's why... that's why he couldn't hear us?" He mumbled, to looking down at his trembling hands. Fat and hot tears glittered in his eyes, a few fat droplets rolling down his cheeks and to the floor. He took a few deep breaths, trying to fight the tears.

"No, the earplugs were just enough to muffle the sound, but they didn't block it completely. I guess the kidnapper wanted him to hear, but not enough to understand what he was hearing."

Duo swallowed and closed his eyes, more salty droplets falling down to the floor.

"His body is weak," Sally continued, holding Duo's shoulder tightly, "And his muscles are nearly degenerated. We hooked him up on some IV and some experts have suggested special therapy in order for Heero to be able to walk again. With today's technology it will be only a few short sessions, but it's still a very unpleasant process. We would like to ask your permission to keep Heero sedated until the process is complete."

"Se...dated?" Duo mumbled, his voice numb from shock and tears. "Uh... yeah... sure... do whatever you have to do... just... just make him better, okay? Just... just make him better..."

"Duo, there's more," Sally's voice whispered quietly, her warm hand squeezing his shoulder lightly, trying to make this somewhat easier.

Duo didn't reply, nor did he raise his gaze up from the sight of his trembling hands. He waited for her to continue.

Sally took a deep breath before breaking the final news, "We found evidence that some sort of surgery had taken place. We're not exactly sure as to what kind of surgery, but there are four puncture marks around his skull. We nearly missed the scars, they were well hidden, suggesting that the surgery was made by a professional."

"Scars?" Duo let out, whirling his head to look up at her again. "What scars? What happened to him?"

"We're not sure," Sally answered carefully, "But judging for the location of the scars, it can't be good, Duo."

"Is he... is he retarded? What? What happened to Heero? God damn it- TELL ME!" Duo screamed, almost hysteric.

"I don't know, Duo," Sally answered calmly, looking up at him with upset blue eyes. "We will have to wait in order to find out."

"Well aren't you the doctor here! Aren't you supposed to know what happened! God damn it!" Duo cried, jumping out of his seat, waving his hands in the air as he shouted. "All this scientific bullshit around here and you don't know what's wrong with my... with my friend! What good is all this crap if you can't fix it, huh! What good is ANYTHING?"

"Duo, please try to calm down," Sally begged, slowly getting up.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! I will not calm down until you'll tell me what happened to Heero!"

"Please, Duo. This isn't helping," she tried again, reaching her hands for him.

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT HELPING! YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!" Duo roared, his eye full of accusing violet flames.

"DUO!" Sally shouted, frustration getting the better of her. "Listen to yourself! You have to calm down!"

"Don't you tell me to calm down! Don't you tell me!" He cried frenziedly, his voice hoarse from tears and pain. He damp cheeks were red with keen and anger, his hair a messy tangle of chestnut strings. "You don't know what it's like! You don't know anything! All of the waiting and praying and then nothing helps! I finally have him and you don't know how to make him better!"

"Duo! Don't you dare tell me that I don't understand!" Sally shouted back, glaring at Duo. "I know very well what it's like to lose a person you love! I know what it's like to worry over someone twenty-four hours a day! I have a twelve-month-old daughter at home, Duo! And I'm trying my best here, like it was her lying on that bed! But you have to give me time Duo! Give me time!"

They were both panting now, standing across of each other in the middle of the waiting room. Tears were running down both their cheeks, their eyes accusing and haunted.

"I just..." Duo mumbled, slumping his shoulders and sniffling quietly. "I just want..." He let out a choked whimper, slowly staggering towards Sally. "I just want you to make Heero better... I want you to... I want you to... please... God..." Slowly, his hysteria calmed and he sagged against Sally, burying his face in her shoulder, crying silently. He felt her wrap warm and comforting arms around him, and his sobbing increased. They remained standing together in the middle of the hallway as Duo wept pitifully into Sally's shoulder. "I want Heero back, Sally... I want him back... please..." He pleaded with her, wrapping his own arms around her. He drew her closer, desperate for comfort and warmth. "Please Sally... please?"

"Shhh... Duo. It's okay..." She soothed him gently, petting his hair and slowly rocking him from side to side. "It's gonna be okay, Duo. It's gonna be okay."

"... and then he threw Quatre into the lake! I never thought that Trowa was capable of such a stupid thing! Man he was drunk! And you should have seen the look on Q-man's face! Ha! I've NEVER seen him so pissed! He chased Trowa all around the garden until Sally threatened to throw the wedding cake on his face! She chased them all around the garden, her wedding dress all over the place, swearing at Quatre that she'd take vengeance when he got married. Haha! You should have seen Wu-man's face when she began to rant about justice! Ha! It was hilarious!"

Duo's rush of words spilled out of his mouth without him even noticing it. He just sat there and talked about anything in the world, his mouth working, but his mind numb. He was sitting by Heero's hospital bed, holding his delicate hand as he waited for his friend to wake up. The chair was uncomfortable, and he hadn't showered in days. He felt hot and dirty, but he refused to leave Heero's side. Sally arranged it so he could stay outside of visiting hours. For the last four days he was sitting in the creaking wooden chair, looking down at Heero's unconscious body.

The Japanese boy looked like he was just sleeping peacefully, and not under the heavy affect of drugs. His thin form was neatly tucked under a soft wool blanket, his bare slender shoulders and slim white neck peeking from underneath his gown, for the hospital gown was too big for his frail body. His skin was pale but no longer sickly colored. He was looking a bit better than the first day they had brought him here.

But he was still different from the Heero he remembered. His features, now older, were so thin... his high cheekbones strongly illuminated under the hard light of the room. His chocolate-brown hair, which was now at shoulder length, was pulled back in a short ponytail, giving Heero a look Duo was not used to be seeing. His features were different from the boyish face Duo remembered. Heero was nineteen-years-old now, though his features gave him the look of a famished child. And his eyes, hidden behind thick and long black lashes, were always closed.

How he longed to see those hauntingly blue eyes open once again... How he wanted to relive the feeling of being swallowed whole in those swirling blue depths. He knew that the minute he would be able to look into those eyes again, everything would be all right. He would have Heero back. All he needed was one look, just one...

But for the last four days, he was unable to get his wish. The doctors kept Heero sedated while they worked on regenerating his weakened muscles. They fed him up with drugs and medicines, denying Duo of his one and only wish. So the braided young man settled for staying by his friend's side, holding his hand and guarding his sleep. He told Heero all about the last two years, reliving a few good memories. He did not allow himself to think about all the sadness and pain and longing of the last two years. He didn't want to upset Heero. So Duo laughed, and even smiled from time to time, as he spoke to Heero. But his mirth was always tainted with sadness. It wasn't worth smiling if he couldn't share it with the Japanese boy he had missed so much. He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be able to share his laughter with him again.

The doctors still didn't know what kind of surgery Heero went through. They scanned him and poked him and tested him until Duo begged them to stop. The tests were not supplying any answers and he hated seeing Heero being played around with. He just wanted the boy to be left alone. He wanted him to sleep peacefully and heal. He wanted him back without any of the stupid doctors to mess around with him anymore.

Duo forced himself to chuckle and squeezed Heero's hand tightly; "I think the best part was when Quatre accidentally pushed her into the lake! Man, I couldn't stop laughing for a week! You should have been there! The sight of Sally raging about in her wet wedding dress would even crack a smile on your Gundanium faiieee..." He stopped himself, realizing what he was saying. He sighed sadly and bowed his head, sniffling silently. "I'm sorry, Heero," he whispered, tightening his hold on Heero's slim hand. "I'm sorry. But I just... ya know, it was funny..." he mumbled, tears filling his eyes and a choked whimper escaped his lips. "I had to laugh... even if you weren't there..." he sniffled and wiped the tears away.

He looked up at Heero, tears running down his cheeks. "And I was always thinking how I was gonna tell you about it when you're back... and maybe you'd smile and say you're sorry you weren't there... and then I... I would say that it's okay... cuz you're here now... but..." He took a deep breath, trying to control his breathing. "...but now you are here and they're telling me that you're not okay... but I know it's not true! Right Hee-buddy? You'll show them, right? Right?" He sniffled, more tears flooding his violet eyes. "...right, Heero? We'll show them, won't we? It's gonna be you and me who'll push Quatre into the lake, right? You have to promise me that, okay Heero? It's a promise, right?"

The boy on the bed remained completely still, his chest rising slowly up and down as he slept.

A week after Heero was rescued from his prison, seven days after Duo was reunited with his love, one hundred and sixty eight hours of sitting by Heero's side, ten thousand and eighty minutes of being trapped in an endless and unknowing twilight, Duo's eyes widened as he caught sight of the endless blue. After two years of darkness, Heero Yuy finally opened his eyes.

Letting out a sound the bordered between a sob and a chuckle, Duo jumped out of his seat and hurried to Heero's bed. A wide smile spread over his features as he saw the cobalt pools slowly reveal themselves, long and thick lashes fluttering lazily up and down. He reached down for Heero's hand, taking the thin palm into his hold. He smiled down at the boy, anxious to look down into those amazingly blue eyes.

He waited breathlessly for them to fully open and his smile grew as the cobalt orbs slowly turned to look at him. The minute their eyes met, the blue eyes widened and the boy on the bed let out a small whimper, weakly pulling his hand away. He closed his eyes tightly, turning his head the other way.

Duo's smile faded.

"Heero?" he whispered, his voice full of fear. "Heero, it's okay, it's me, Duo." He reached down to brush Heero's wild bangs aside, and the boy's body tensed at the tender touch. He let out another small whimper, turning his head away even more, his eyes shut tight.

"Heero? Heero... it's all right. There's nothing to be afraid of," Duo soothed gently, caressing the boy's cheek, "You're safe now."

The boy seemed to be ignoring him, and not for the first time Duo could feel that sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach, that dreading feeling that Heero's hearing might be damaged.

"Heero, look at me, please," he whispered, tears stinging his eyes. He carefully placed his hand under Heero's chin, and gently pulled Heero's head so they were facing each other. The boy's eyes were shut tight, tears clinging to his thick eyelashes. Duo reached down a trembling hand to wipe those tears away. "It's okay..." he whispered, smiling sadly as he saw those black lashes slowly lift up. "Yeah, that's it... just me here, no one can hurt you anymore," Duo assured the frightened boy, slowly sitting down on the bed. He took Heero's hand again, holding it up to his chest as he sat down.

Slowly, hesitantly, Heero opened his eyes; cracking them half open, as if making sure that it is safe to open them. It took all Duo had in him to not just yank Heero into his arms and never let go. He waited patiently, smiling kindly at the boy, trying to assure him that it was safe to open his eyes again. He held his breath as the blue pools finally opened and looked up at him.

And then Duo's eyes widened and he gasped in shock, letting go of Heero's hand.

The boy just looked up at him in confusion, tilting his head aside in question. The blue eyes blinked in puzzlement.

But those were NOT Heero's eyes! Well, they were his eyes, they were the same Prussian blue jewels that always adorned Heero's features, but... but still, they were not the same! The light was gone... the blue oceans looked duller and less alive. Those eyes... they looked so big all of a sudden, so large and innocent as they looked up at him in a child like curiosity. The wonder and awe in Heero's blue eyes looked like he was seeing him for the first time. Those dull blue depths were empty. Empty... the fierce fire that marked Heero's presence was gone. Gone. Empty... those blue eyes showed no recognition at all. Those were not Heero's eyes. They were the eyes of a newborn. They were NOT Heero's eyes.

Startled by this realization, Duo jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room.

The empty blue eyes widened and then shut tightly as the door was slammed behind Duo's flapping braid. The boy on the bed whimpered and curled into a fetal position, crying silently into his pillow.

"SALLYYYYYYY!"

Sighing sadly, Sally took off her reading glasses and set them back on her desk. She rested two hands on the desk, fingers entwined. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at the anxious young man sitting in front of her, fidgeting in his seat.

Duo was sitting with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. In his hands, he was holding the dirty old teddy bear they had found along with Heero. He was swinging it weakly form side to side, looking down at it with numb eyes. Noticing he was being watched, Duo looked up, for his head had been bowed while Sally worked. He swallowed hard, fearful violet eyes lifting up to meet her worried crystal blue eyes. "More bad news," he finally stated, casting his gaze down sadly.

"I'm afraid so," Sally answered with a sigh, leaning back in her large office chair.

Duo tightened his hold on the ragged old bear, "Amnesia?"

"It appears so, yes."

Again he squeezed the poor bear. "Is it permanent?"

The Chinese doctor sighed, picking up a pen, her fingers playing with it nervously. "Only time can tell. From my examination, his short-term memory is functioning just fine, or so we think. He wouldn't cooperate with us."

Duo swallowed down a sob, nodding his head ever so slightly. He bowed his head again; looking down at the scruffy bear as a few stray tears escaped his eyes. "Is it because he can't hear you?"

Again Sally sighed, "No, Duo, don't worry. Heero is not deaf. He responds well to sound. He blinks when I clap my hands and he follows sound and movements."

Duo let out a relived sigh, his hold on the bear tightening.

"But," Sally added with a sigh, looking sadly at Duo. "He would not respond when spoken to, and he didn't utter one coherent word during the test."

Duo nodded slowly in understanding, biting his lower lip. He looked deeply into the bear's large brown eyes, silently musing that they looked tearful, like his own eyes. The little brown bear had a wretched and miserable look in its eyes.

"Now, it could be some sort of a post traumatic stress syndrome. It is not unlikely," Sally continued, trying to sound reassuring.

"So he will be okay," Duo stated, looking up at Sally again.

The young woman sighed. "In time, perhaps. We can only hope so."

"I want to take him home."

"Now, Duo, it's better to leave him here. At least for a few days."

"I want Heero back home," Duo repeated, his gaze sharp, his hold on the bear strengthening.

Biting her lower lip in thought, Sally looked down at him lengthily, fighting an inner battle. But Duo's fierce violet eyes would allow no arguments. Sighing, she tore her gaze away and picked up a few papers. "Fine. I'll sign the release papers."

Duo sighed in relief, sinking back into his seat. "Thanks, Sal." He sent her a sad little smile, his fingers still playing around with the shabby bear.

"Don't mention it, please," she replied with a sigh, writing something in down on paper. "He is still a little weak, but otherwise fine. Other than the amnesia, there's no real reason to keep him here," she explained as she placed a stamp on her papers and signed them. "Hopefully, being in a familiar environment and around familiar people, will help him recover faster," she added with a smile, handing the papers to Duo.

The braided young man took them form her, nodding in thanks.

"I'll ask that you'll bring him for his check up every week."

"I'll do that, Sal, no problem," Duo assured her as he got up, picking up his jacket, the bear in his other hand.

"Make sure he has enough to eat and drink. And NO junk food!" she continued, looking up at him with a teasing smile

Duo smiled sheepishly and nodded again. "Got'cha, no junk food," he replied as he prepared to open the door.

"Duo," Sally called after him, getting up, looking at him intensely, "call if you need anything. You know that our door is always open."

Duo smiled in thanks and nodded his head. "Thanks, Sal," he whispered, his eyes thankful, "I'll remember that."

"Take care, Duo."

"I will," he promised and left the small office, heading up to the upper floor of the hospital. In the elevator, he looked down thoughtfully at the little brown bear, wondering what the hell it had to do with Heero's condition. As the bell dinged, Duo looked up and left all thoughts about the bear for later. Right now, all he wanted was to be with Heero.

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TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

born again - dawning realizations / Naomi

When he walked into Heero's hospital room, he was surprised to see the boy hiding underneath his blanket. The wool blanket was pulled high above his head, and only a pair of his white knuckles could be seen outside the of cover.

Sighing and shaking his head, Duo closed the door and walked towards the bed. He noticed that Heero was still lying on his back, and he hadn't touched the tray of food offered to him. Duo sighed again and placed the little ragged teddy bear on the table with the tray. He then turned to face Heero again, and when he listened carefully he could tell that Heero's breath was a little frantic, like a fear stricken animal.

With eyes filled with grief, Duo reached down to pull the cover away.

Heero let out a frightened whimper, his breath quickening.

"It's okay. It's just me." Duo let out softly, tugging the blanket away.

Heero's knuckles were held tightly around the blanket, refusing to let go.

"Was the light bothering you?" Duo asked, wondering out loud.

The boy on the bed whimpered and quickly let go of the blanket, covering his ears instead.

"Heero?" Duo tried again, now getting a little worried. "Are you okay?" He asked, slowly pulling the blanket away.

"Ah!" Heero called out in protest, but did nothing to try and stop him. He continued lying on his back, hands over his ears and his eyes shut tight.

Duo sighed sadly, reached down for Heero's hand. "It's okay." He soothed, trying to pry Heero's hands away from his ears.

"Iya!" The boy called as if in pain, pulling away from Duo's touch. "Nah! Nah! --adda!" He begged, thrusting his head form side to side, his eyes still shut and his ears turning red from holding them so tightly.

Defeated, Duo let go of the boy and slumped heavily into a nearby chair.

On the bed, Heero became still again, panting a little from his effort. He remained with his eyes closed and his ears covered, refusing to move.

Anguished violet eyes filled with tears and Duo hurried to wipe the traitorous fluid away. He sniffled once, his dull eyes looking down at Heero in numbing pain. After a while in which Heero did not even stir, Duo's eyes slowly trailed up until they rested on the small bear lying on the table. Face hesitant, Duo reached up for the bear and carefully picked it up. He examined it a little, and then turned to look back at Heero. A thoughtful frown appeared on his weary features and then slowly, carefully, he placed the bear on Heero's chest.

The Japanese boy flinched, letting out a startled cry.

Duo remained silent and let go of the bear, leaving it lying on Heero's chest. He sat there silently, watching and waiting for Heero's reaction.

Slowly, hesitantly, Heero's long and slim fingers trailed up to his chest, the pale digits feeling around uncertainly. Duo watched as Heero carefully felt around the bear, petting its fur and trailing his hand over the small form, his eyes still closed. A second hand joined the first one, as Heero let go of his ears completely. The trembling hands carefully picked up the bear, feeling it from all sides. A small smile touched Heero's lips.

Duo held his breath in anticipation, and then a striking crack of blue cracked open, looking up at the scruffy bear.

Another smile touched Heero's pale lips and his opened his eyes fully, wide orbs looking up at the bear in awe.

Duo let out a relieved sigh and allowed himself to relax. He watched Heero as the boy slowly raised the bear up in the air, looking at it with his large and innocent eyes. Judging from the awe and wonder in Heero's eyes, Duo couldn't help but think that he was seeing the bear for the first time.

Heero let out a small chuckle, his blue eyes drinking the sight of the bear hungrily, turning it from side to side, wanting to see and feel all of it.

A small smile touched Duo's lips at the sound of Heero's joy, and his smile grew as he caught the sight of Heero's eyes. The light had returned to those hauntingly blue eyes, and the blue jewels seemed to be sparkling once again.

Heero was clearly delighted by the sight of his precious bear, and he turned to look up at Duo, smiling broadly. He nudged the bear towards the braided boy, showing it to him, as if he wanted the other boy to share his joy.

Duo smiled down sadly at Heero. "It's a very nice bear." He whispered, trying to speak over the lump that stood in his throat. "What's his name?"

The Japanese boy ignored him once again, his attention focused solely on the bear.

Duo sighed, closing his eyes sadly. Well, at least he had gotten Heero to open his eyes...

"HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO SAY THIS TO YOU!"

A loud commotion was suddenly heard from down the hall and the boy on the bed flinched, crying out in fear.

"It's okay!" Duo hurried to assure him, jumping out of his seat and hurrying to take the boy's hand in his. "Heero, it's okay. Just some loud doctors, that's all."

But the boy on the bed just whimpered pathetically and pulled away from Duo's touch. He curled into a fetal position; one hand hugging his bear while the other covered his ear tightly. His eyes were shut again, his expression that of distress.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT THE CRATES HERE!" A loud shout was heard from behind the door, followed by a whole lot of noise as something heavy was moved, rattling loudly.

Heero whimpered, his face turning red as he began to slap his ear, holding the bear tightly as tears ran out of his shut eyes. His expression turned from distress to torment, as the noise in the hall continued.

Duo watched him with wide, shocked eyes, his face covered with stunned realization.

Gradually, the noise in the hallway faded, the commotion moving away.

Only the sound of Heero's whimpering could be heard in the silent room.

Slowly, Duo slumped back into his seat, his eyes on Heero's curled figure. He took a deep breath, and reached down for the boy's hand.

"It hurts you, doesn't it?" He whispered in horror, tears filling his eyes.

On the bed, Heero whimpered, his body tensing at Duo's touch. He curled deeper within himself, brining down his hand to hug the bear tightly, both arms wrapped around the small stuffed animal, as if shielding it from some unseen menace.

"Shhh… It's okay…" Duo soothed, petting Heero's hair gently. "It's okay... I'm gonna take you home now, okay?" He asked, his voice gentle as his soothing touch. "Do you wanna go home? Huh Heero? You want to go home, right Heero?"

Heero did not reply. Instead, he just yawned and stretched his limbs, like a small kitten. He nestled himself more comfortably into the bed, and sighed pleasantly. He was asleep in no time.

Duo just kept sitting there, looking down numbly at his friend. He sat there until his blurry vision cleared, and then gathered the slumbering boy into his arms. Maybe it was better that the boy was asleep. He didn't want him to suffer even more on the way home.

He arrived at his apartment sometime within the afternoon hours, Heero's sleeping form cradled in his arms. It was a two-room apartment, located in a middle-class apartment building on the city's center outskirts, bordering on the suburbs. The apartment was quite nice, not too fancy, but not too poor either. There was a large leather sofa and a TV couch in front of a large television set. A large collection of music and video CDs was stacked as high as the ceiling, by a large stereo system. The couch and coffee table were littered with clothes, magazines and snack wrappers. At the end of the large living room, two large balcony doors sat facing the city's skyscrapers. The kitchen was connected to the living room by the hallway entrance, leading to a bathroom and two bedrooms.

All in all it was a typical bachelor's apartment.

"You gotta excuse the mess..." Duo mumbled with a groan, hoisting Heero up a bit for the boy kept slipping out of his hold. "I promise I'll clean it up later, so you won't have to glare and me and scowl me for being so damn messy." He continued as he walked into the apartment, kicking the door close with his foot. "I'm not as bad as I used to be during the war." He informed his sleeping friend, making his way towards the hall. "Hell, I even cook for myself, so don't ya listen to Sally when she says that I only eat junk food. I'll cook ya something nice later, kay?"

He entered his bedroom and carefully placed Heero on the bed. The boy stirred, drawing his teddy bear nearer, but he did not wake. Sighing, Duo tucked him well with his blanket. "Sleep tight." He wished his slumbering love, a faint and sad little smile playing on his lips. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

He watched as Heero nestled himself into the covers, nuzzling his head against the soft pillow. A small smile touched the boy's lips as he felt the soft cushion and he brought the bear closer to him, so that its head was resting on the pillow as well. He then sighed pleasantly and sunk deeper into his sleep.

All the while, a pair of sad, tear filled violet eyes watched him in his sleep, a wretched look on their owner's face.

That evening, Duo sat alone in the kitchen, a TV dinner in front of him. The cold and hard light of the kitchen crashed down on his solemn form, as he sat there with his shoulders slumped, the fork in his hand but he is not touching his meal. He just stared numbly at his meal, watching it as it grew cold and tasteless.

After some time, he got up with a sigh and cleared the dish into the garbage. He didn't even feel like showering and just threw himself on the couch, curling into a small human ball. He kept his gaze at the dark hallway, his violet eyes thoughtful and sad. He was too upset to think or brood, so after some time he just drifted off into a restless sleep, seeking a dream full of the comfort of familiar cobalt and blue.

The next morning, Duo awoke to the sound of crying. His eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar sound, and his body tensed, his hand reaching for the gun that wasn't there. Sighing, he slumped back into the sofa, musing that it was probably the neighbor's annoying baby crying his morning sobs.

But then he realized that the sound came from much closer, and was not muffled by the floor or ceiling. No, it came from his apartment.

Jumping out of the couch, Duo ran towards his bedroom, the memories of the last few days rushing back into his sleep fogged mind. "Heero!" He called, panicked, as he came into a quick halt and stormed into the bedroom. "Heero, are you okay!" He panted, eyes worried as he ran over to the bed.

He found Heero lying curled on the bed, looking so small in the middle of the queen size bed, the covers and pillows all around his trembling form. His eyes were closed tightly again and he was hugging the bear close to his chest, as if shielding it from the world. His face, buried between the tangled sheets and blanket, was damp with tears.

"Heero, it's okay, you're safe. This is my home, you're safe here." Duo hurried to soothe him, slightly panting from his morning effort. He carefully crawled up on the bed, settling on both his knees as he gathered Heero into his arms. "Heero... shhh... it's okay... it's okay..." He whispered while petting the boy's messy long hair. "You're safe... you're with me now, Heero... you're with me..."

The boy in his arms whimpered, but his trembling was slowly calming down. He was clutching Duo's shirt now, his face buried in the boy's lap as he cried. He was wearing the clothes Duo had brought for him in the hospital, a large sweatshirt that was four times his size, slipping off his bony shoulders and revealing his scrawny chest. The sleeves were also too big and only the tip of Heero's slim white fingers peeked out of the dark fabric. Duo had also brought a pair of sweatpants for the boy to wear, but he had to fasten them with a belt so they would not fall off.

After some minutes of hushing the boy and gently stroking his hair, Heero seemed to calm down. Now laying motionless in Duo's hold, tearful and numb cobalt eyes stared ahead into nothing.

Duo sighed and then took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. Something was very wrong here. Amnesia or no amnesia, Heero was definitely not himself. He could only hope that once Heero got over the initial trauma and shock, he would start to get better and return to just being his normal self. Duo didn't fool himself; he knew that it would take time. Two years of torture were not an easy thing to get over, even for a soldier like Heero. But in time... he hoped... that maybe... maybe he would have his love back for real.

Looking down at his friend, Duo was sure that the boy had drifted back to sleep, and he gasped as he was faced with a pair of shinning cobalt eyes, looking up at him curiously. The innocence in those eyes... it was nearly overwhelming. They seemed so large all of a sudden. So... child-like.

Duo forced himself to smile down at the boy, petting his hair gently. "Hey." He whispered, remembering that Heero did not respond well to loud sounds. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked, hoping to get some answers this time. His hope was that once the two of them were alone, outside the hospital, Heero would open up a bit. "You have nothing to be afraid of. This is my home. I brought you home."

The blue eyes just stared at him intriguingly as the boy titled his head aside in curiosity.

Duo sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "You can talk to me, you know. I will not hurt you for speaking. I'm your friend."

The blue eyes blinked, confused.

"Yeah, friend. Remember me? Duo? We're friends. You can talk to me if you like. I will not hurt you."

Heero just frowned and then turned his head away, looking around the room with his curious blue eyes. Those ocean blue eyes scanned the various things scattered around the small bedroom, until they reached the window, where they stopped, widening in awe.

The clear white curtains were flapping lazily against the soft wind, revealing the view that lay outside the fifth floor's bedroom window. The window overlooked the suburbs, giving a bright and colorful view of green parks, blue skies and tiled red roofs.

"Oow..." Heero let out, slowly pushing himself up on the bed.

Duo watched him with stunned eyes as the boy carefully crawled to the edge of the bed, his bear in hand, his eyes fixed on the window all along. The blue orbs were wide with awe and wonder, shining under the bright morning sunshine, glistening with a spark of astonishment.

Duo forced himself to breathe again and cautiously came to sit by Heero's side. "Yeah, cool view, huh? Makes this apartment a hell lot expensive, but it's worth it if I can get up to see that each morning, right?"

He received no answer, for Heero was too busy looking down at the floor, as if trying to figure out a safe way to get off the bed. He had apparently forgotten all about the window.

Duo frowned. "Heero, it's not that high. You can get off the bed easily, see?" He got up to his feet and gestured down at himself. "Tada! See, no problem."

Still on the bed, supported on all fours, Heero turned his head up to look at Duo, eyes wide in awe. He resembled a small and defenseless puppy, looking up at its owner with his large blue puppy-eyes. He then turned to look down at the floor again, seeming hesitant. He reached down an uncertain arm, feeling around the sides of the bed and then the floor.

"Ah!" He cried out as his fingers brushed against the soft wall-to-wall carpet, and he jerked his head up, looking up at Duo with fearful eyes.

Duo sighed and kneeled down before Heero. "It's just a carpet. It's not dirty or anything. What, you don't like brown? I know it isn't such a great color, but it goes well with the rest of the place, ya know?" He blabbered, unwilling to just go ahead and say it- Heero didn't know how to get off the bed. "And don't be afraid, it might be soft but it's steady, see?" He jumped once and then looked down at Heero. "See? No harm done."

As the boy just kept staring at him with no comprehension, Duo sighed and got up again. "Fine, I'll help you, but just this once." He bent down and carefully scooped Heero off the bed. The boy let out a silent cry, not a distressed one, just this little startled sound. He quickly wrapped his arms around Duo's neck as the boy cradled him in his arms, his blue eyes watching in wonder as he was lifted up in the air, and the bed remained all the way down there.

The next thing he knew he was on his feet as Duo placed him down on the floor.

"Nah! Nnan--ahh!" He called, panicked as his trembling feet made contact with the floor. His arms flung wildly in the air, searching for something to grab onto before he fell. He desperately grabbed Duo's firm shoulders, just as his feet gave way.

"Wow!" Duo called, quickly grabbing the boy by his slim waist. "Easy there!"

Heero let out another small sound and buried his face in Duo's chest, his knuckles closed tightly around Duo's shoulders. He was trembling slightly from fear, and his eyes were closed again.

Duo sighed heavily, drawing the frightened boy into a tight embrace. He rested his chin on the top of Heero's dark head, and closed his eyes sadly. "It's okay... Sally said it might take some time before you'll be able to walk again..." He explained quietly to the boy, rubbing his hand up and down Heero's trembling back, feeling the bumps of his spine underneath the fabric of the shirt.

He sighed sadly, drawing the boy closer, feeling this sudden urge to protect him. Heero was shorter than him now, and he fit perfectly into his arms. He felt as if he was holding a small child as he slowly rocked Heero form side to side, waiting for the boy to calm down.

After a while the Heero's trembling ceased and he slowly lifted his head up, large and vulnerable cobalt eyes looking up at Duo.

The braided young man forced himself to smiled kindly at the boy, and reached down a hand to gently wipe his tears away. "C'mon." He said softly, gathering Heero into his arms. "What you need is a nice and warm shower. It will make ya feel a whole lot better, right?"

Heero remained silent and just rested his head on Duo's shoulder, empty blue eyes looking ahead numbly. He was still clutching Duo's shirt with one hand, and in the other hand he was holding his small bear, the brown and scruffy toy swinging from side to side as Duo carried Heero into the bathroom.

Walking into the washroom, Duo flipped the lights on, earning another awed sound from the boy in his arms. He looked down and saw Heero look around in wonder, clearly enchanted by the bright white walls and the glistening of the ceramics under the bright light.

Allowing himself a small smile, Duo gently lowered Heero down to his feet. The boy didn't bother to stand and just settled down on his knees, looking around curiously. Duo sighed, his smile slowly fading. It really looked like Heero was experiencing all of this for the first time.

He kneeled down in front of the white bathtub and turned on the tap, with yet another awed sound coming from Heero. As the water began to fill the tub, Duo felt Heero come closer, hesitantly crawling towards the tub. He looked down at him, smiling a little at the sight of Heero's stunned features. The boy was looking down into the tub, his knuckles wrapped around the edges of the white porcelain, his blue eyes shimmering in wonder as he watched the water fill the tub.

When the tub was half full, Duo closed the tap, and Heero let out a startled cry, his head snapping in the direction of the faucet, as if surprised by the fact that it stopped all of a sudden. He then slowly turned his gaze down to the still water, looking a little confused. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out a hand and carefully brought it down to the water. He stopped just before his fingers touched the warm liquid, his hand backing off a little as if he was regretting his action.

Duo's warm hand came resting on his shoulders and the Japanese boy tensed, a bit startled. He jerked his head up to look at Duo, blue eyes wide and fearful.

Duo just smiled kindly at him, his gaze reassuring. "It's okay. Try it." He gestured at the tub with his head.

Frowning in thought, Heero blew some messy bangs out of his eyes and then turned back to face the water. He brought his hand down again and carefully dipped it into the water.

"Ah!" He called, surprised by the warm touch. "Nanda?" He mumbled, looking up at Duo with questioning eyes. "Atsui..."

Duo frowned, not sure he understood what the boy was saying. He dipped down his own hand into the water, just to make sure that it wasn't too hot. When he was certain that the water were good, he turned back to Heero, and reached for his shirt.

"You'll have to take your clothes off." He said, nudging the large shirt.

Heero's eyes widened in horror, but Duo failed to see that. "I don't think it's safe to leave you here by yourself." He explained as he pulled the shirt off of Heero's body and tossed it aside. He winced at the sight of Heero's skinny form, his ribs clearly showing.

Heero whimpered and bowed his head sadly.

"C'mon, lets get these off and get you all sparkling clean..." Duo encouraged with a sigh, getting up and pulling Heero up as well. He tugged at the waistband of his pants, but stopped when the boy whimpered. He looked up at him, seeing how distressed the boy became.

"Heero, it's all right." He assured him. "You don't have to be shy around me. I assure you, it's nothing I haven't seen before." The boy didn't seem to be listening to him, so Duo gently placed his hand under Heero's chin and slowly turned the boy to face him.

Again Heero whimpered, closing his eyes sadly. His eyes were shut so tight, that tears were squeezed out of them. Once Duo let go of his chin, Heero cracked half an eye open and looked up at him. He was still on his knees, but Duo was standing, so his head was right in front of Duo's crotch. Whimpering sadly, Heero closed his eyes again and opened his mouth wide.

Duo gaped.

As time ticked by and no one made a move, Heero opened his eyes again, daring a peek up at Duo, his mouth still wide open. The blue orbs widened as the boy caught sight of the glisten of two silver trails running down the braided man's cheeks. He gaped silently up at Duo as the taller boy looked down at him, violet eyes full of anguish.

Slowly, Duo came back down to his knees; Heero's eyes following his every movement. He sniffled, bringing two hands to rest on Heero's shoulders. The Japanese boy continued looking at him in confusion, his innocent eyes shimmering with none-comprehension.

"Heero." Duo finally spoke, his voice hoarse with tears. "I don't want that from you, do you understand? Not like this. Do you understand?"

The boy tilted his head aside in confusion, large blue eyes looking up at Duo in puzzlement. As the boy kept sitting there, unmoving, Heero reached down a trembling white hand, tugging at Duo's pants.

"No. No!" Duo cried, beginning to get frustrated. "That's NOT what I want, Heero! Bad!"

As that final word was spat in his direction, Heero whimpered and staggered back. He curled into a small ball in the corner of the room shielding his head with his arms while crying out meaningless words and pleas.

Duo closed his eyes sadly and forced himself to take deep and long breaths. It took him some time to gather himself back together, and when he opened his eyes, the violet orbs were cool and detached all of a sudden. Without a word, he gathered Heero into his arms and carefully slipped the large trousers off of him. The boy was still trembling and crying as Duo carefully lowered him into the water, which had cooled down by now. He opened the tap to add some warm water and then picked up a soft sponge, pouring some soap into it. Without any words or questions, he began to wash Heero, as the weeping boy sat curled in the middle of the bathtub, his head buried in his kneecaps, his arms wrapped around his knees and his body quaking with sobs.

The bathroom was silent for a long while, only the sound of the water dripping out of the sponge, accompanied by Heero's sobbing was heard. When Duo put the sponge aside and prepared to wash Heero's shoulder length hair, the boy fell quiet once again.

He looked up as he heard the 'POP!' of the shampoo bottle being plucked open, his curious blue eyes studying the colorful soap as it poured down into Duo's hand. Fascinated by the sight, Heero followed Duo's movement as he brought his hand towards him. Before the braided boy had a chance to put the soap on Heero's hair, the boy moved and grabbed his hand with both of his.

Duo stopped, looking down at Heero with detached eyes.

The boy carefully poked at the shampoo with his finger, letting out an awed sound as he felt its texture. He coated his finger with the soap and slowly brought it up to his face, examining it from every direction. He sniffed it a little, smiling as he encountered the sweet scent. He looked up at Duo, smiling happily at his discovery.

Duo forced on a little smile, his face suddenly stony and numb. He watched as Heero examined the soap, and he had to stop him when the boy tried to taste it. He didn't rebuke him this time though, and just proceeded in washing Heero's hair, massaging his scalp while the boy kept trying to bring his head up as if it will help him to see what Duo was doing up there.

Duo's movements were like automation as he took the showerhead into his hand and washed the shampoo out of Heero's hair. The boy seemed a little bothered by the running water, making all sort of unpleased faces and trying to avoid the warm stream. Duo ignored him and just continued working, his gaze numb and far far away.

As the tub filled with soap and fluffy foam, Heero seemed to forget all about his discomfort and turned to examine the shiny bubbles. He began playing around with the white foam, splashing about and giggling silently to himself. From time to time he looked up at Duo, blue eyes sparkling with laughter, as he wanted to share his joy with the other boy. But the braided boy failed to see that. His gaze was fixed on the wall, violet eyes dull and numb with shock. His hand remained secured above Heero's head, holding the showerhead in place, and he was as immobile as a statue. Heero threw foam up in the air and it landed in Duo's face but the boy didn't care. He was too shocked to care, to move, to do anything, really.

Realization had finally hit him and now there was no way of denying it. Heero was acting like a small baby...

"Something is wrong here. VERY wrong... Could it... could it be some sort of shock? Post traumatic stress?" Duo spoke desperately into the phone, looking up at Heero, who was currently sitting by the kitchen table, squashing his breakfast with his fingers, making all sort of weird sounds as he did. His bear was right next to him, clad in a small shirt. After dressing Heero, the boy had insisted that his bear would get the same treatment. He shoved the small animal into Duo's arms and while at first Duo was confused, Heero pulled at his own clothes and then gestured at the bear, trying to show Duo what he meant. Still confused and even more heartbroken by Heero's behavior, Duo surrendered and gave the bear a small shirt Sally had once forgotten in his place while she, Wufei and the baby were over for dinner.

Duo sighed into the phone. "It's just the trauma, right?" he asked, voice hopeful though he already knew the answer. "He'll be okay soon, right?"

On the other side of the line, Sally sighed. "I don't think so, Duo... I was afraid that something like this might happen."

"Vaaaaaa... boom!" Heero called as he threw his fist into the cereal bowl, giggling as milk splattered all over the place, including on his face and fresh clothes.

Duo sighed, looking away. He closed his eyes sadly and took a deep breath before speaking. "Well... what is it then? What happened to him? Why is he like this?"

Again Sally sighed. "You better bring him over, Duo."

"Caaaaaaa... BOOM!" Heero called happily, throwing the bowl down to the floor.

It crashed with a loud sound and shattered into a million pieces.

Duo's heart was soon to follow.

"Take a seat, Duo." Sally spoke softly, as said boy entered her office. Heero was already there; sitting on a chair, his bear in hand and a tired look on his features. As Duo took his seat, he eyed the boy hesitantly, as if eyeing a stranger. Heero on his hand just yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly, looking up at nothing with his sleepy blue eyes.

Duo sighed and finally settled into his seat. He turned to look up at Sally.

The woman sent him a compassionate look before finally speaking. "Duo, what I'm about to say will not be easy to hear." She began slowly, searching for any reaction from Duo. The braided young man just nodded his head slowly, urging her to continue. At his side, Heero tried to somewhat snuggle into his chair, his heavy eyelids slowly closing as he brought his bear closer to him.

Sighing, Sally tore her gaze away from Heero and turned to face the violet eyed man in front of her. "Duo, I had some experts check over Heero today. I had to consult in them because I couldn't believe what I was seeing." She sighed again, shifting a little in her seat. She looked up into Duo's eyes, her blue eyes intense. "Duo, Heero's mind has been completely erased." She let out, her gaze ominous. "Now I know that it might sound odd, and up until four hours ago I thought that it was impossible, but the evidence is clear." She looked gestured at Heero with her hand. Duo turned to glance at his friend, seeing him sleep in the chair, body curled up in an impossible position. He sighed and turned his gaze back to Sally, eyes sad.

"In all means but physical, Heero is a two year old child." She summarized her findings with a painful tone. "And not a very developed one at that. He doesn't know how to speak, he can barely walk, and his motor skills aren't very good."

"So he's... retarded?" Duo asked, his voice as sorrowful as the look in his eyes.

"No." Sally answered, her gaze sharp. "He is not retarded, but it seems that the kidnapper did not bother to teach him or give him the opportunity to learn. Heero has to start from scratch all over again."

Duo swallowed a sob and bowed his head, nodding ever so slightly.

"I don't know how it was done. Usually, when a person looses his memory, he still remembers things he had learned, especially something as basic as talking, walking and other motor skills. It seems that Heero does remember a little, or he had tried to learn. I think that the earplugs and blindfold were there to prevent him from learning. The words we thought were incoherent are just a mixture of what he had managed to pick up with his dull senses."

Duo's palms closed into fists, anger boiling up inside of him. If that manic weren't already dead, he would have killed him now. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down, and looked up at Sally. "But I heard him say... he spoke a little... in Japanese... maybe there's a chance that..."

"No, Duo. I'm afraid not." Sally shook her head sorrowfully. "He doesn't remember anything. My best guess is that because Japanese was the first language Heero ever spoke, it was rooted deeply into his brain and therefore not all was erased. But he still has to learn everything, from A to Z."

Duo sighed sadly and nodded his head. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I understand." He whispered, tears gathering under his closed eyelids.

But he did not understand! He didn't understand what kind of monster would do such a thing! A 'newborn' spends the 'first' two years of his life being sexually, physically and emotionally abused! Where was the justice in that? Heero had lived through so much... he went through so much in his young life, and now this? Hasn't the damn kidnapper done enough to him already? Wufei had mentioned that the kidnapper had to be Doctor J. He said he had a ninety percent ID on the body. Why would that freak do that to Heero! Why? Hadn't the boy done enough for him already? He gave him his life! He dedicated his very soul to J's twisted missions! He won the war for him- twice! Why would he want to do that? Why to Heero? Why now, at a time of peace... why!

But most of all, Duo didn't understand the reason the higher forces had for making Heero and he go through this. All they wanted was to live their lives peacefully after the war. He had gone through so much to find Heero, to search for his love. And here he was, looking for a lover, and finding an infant in the body of his love.

Duo squeezed out the tears and whimpered sadly, his fists clenched.

There was no other choice but to face the truth. Even though he had found him, Heero Yuy, was dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**BORN AGAIN**

**CHAPTER FOUR- **

**ECLIPSE OF THE HEART **

"Hands up, c'mon," Duo let out with a light groan, looking down at Heero with impatient eyes. They were standing in the steamy bathroom, after Duo had given Heero his shower. In his hand, he was holding a blue sweater, ready to put it on the boy.

"I want... I want alone..." Heero mumbled tentatively, lips pouting.

Duo sighed. "Heero, you already tried with the shirt, and you saw that it wasn't working. Stop being stubborn," Duo demanded, sending a hasty glance at his wristwatch. He sighed and looked up at Heero, "C'mon, Hee-chan, Wufei and Sally will be here in ANY minute now!"

"I want!" Heero called, pouting, trying to pull the sweater out of Duo's grasp.

"No!" Duo answered sharply, yanking the sweater out of Heero's weak hold. He then forcefully shoved the sweater down Heero's head, pushing it down and hurrying to grab Heero's arms, forcing them through the sleeves.

"But I wanted to!" Heero whined, still pouting, as Duo fixed his white shirt's collar, pulling it out from underneath the sweater. He kneeled down and quickly tidied the white sleeves of the shirt, folding them neatly around the blue sweater.

"There's no time." Duo grunted as he fixed Heero's dark gray trousers, for they were a little big and kept slipping off his slim waist. While Heero _did_ gain some weight since they found him, and he had a much healthier look now, he was still very thin. "I told you to get ready earlier, but you wouldn't budge from the TV now would you!" he muttered with a sigh, getting up and rushing to tidy Heero's messy bangs a bit.

"But Eddie and Mu--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know... The Eddie and Murf show. But I told you we have company tonight, and if the pasta is burning right now, it's all your fault and you'll have to deal with a hungry Wufei!" he berated, planting two hands on his hips, glaring down at the boy.

Heero sniffled, bowing his head sadly. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, his blue eyes sad. "I'm sorry, Duo-chan... I'm sorry..."

Duo sighed, calming down a bit. He had been too harsh on Heero, and not for the first time either. For the last four months all he did was bounce back and forth from frustrated outbursts to sorrowful apologies. Always hanging between moments of joy and pride and times of frustration and tears. Tears and joy. Hurt and laughter. A caress and a shout. Anger and delight. Hate and love.

He was always swinging between the two, struggling to do what's right, but yet having a hard time to keep his cool when things got a little _too_ difficult. For nearly four months he had been trying to keep strong, to keep his act together and help Heero recover. It was a long and difficult process, but he guessed that it was worth it.

After four months, Heero was his own person again. Well, mostly. In a short amount of time he had picked up on his motoric and language skills. At first, he was more than a little clumsy. He had a hard time to learn how to use different tools, as simple as they may have been, and his walking was a bit awkward. He was unused to walking, and so he had to relearn that as well. At the time, Sally was amazed that Heero could do what takes a normal baby about twelve months to learn. Her explanation was that because humans are born with the natural instinct to walk, Heero had mastered that rather quickly. Babies take so long to walk because their muscles are weak and their heads are too heavy. They are born with the natural reflexes of walking, but since their body is unable to execute it, they soon forget it and are left with the need to learn it again. Taking into mind that Heero was NOT a baby, not in the physical sense; he had managed to master walking very quickly.

Learning to speak was another matter. It took him about two months before he began to mutter coherent words. It wasn't that he didn't understand what he was hearing, but it was a matter of learning how to work his mouth and tongue in order to pronounce those words. It was very frustrating for Duo when Heero began to imitate him in whatever he said or did. Sally said that it was only natural, that it was the normal way for humans to learn, but it still bothered the braided youth to no end. He would be sitting in front of the television with Heero, and then the boy would suddenly start talking quietly to himself, repeating what the news anchor or weatherman said. Sally explained that Heero was trying to teach himself, as would any child, how to pronounce the words properly.

Then of course, there was the pointing. Heero's favorite game for the first three months. He pointed at everything and anything, looking at Duo anxiously, waiting for him to say the word or name the object. Sally explained that by performing this little 'game', Heero's vocabulary was increasing in about a hundred words per week, possibly even more. In ten weeks he was already able to produce a typical three-year-old, two-word, sentence, managing to pick up a basic conversation. His speech was like a telegram, leaving out all unimportant words, but it was enough to help him be understood.

Needless to say that the 'pointing stage' was hell on poor Duo. His face redden in shame each time he would be walking down the mall or in a public park and then Heero would start pointing and nagging until he was answered. People would always send him weird glances, mothers walking with their babies would stare at the both of them in shock. Duo would then want nothing but to bury his head in the ground and never come out. He avoided going out with Heero whenever he could, trying to save himself the embarrassment.

But keeping Heero at home wasn't easy either. The boy would always leave a mess around the house; exploring everything he could put his hands on. Each night Duo found himself cleaning up the place, after putting Heero to sleep, sighing heavily to himself as he cleaned the living room, which had turned into Heero's little laboratory. Sally kept saying that it is normal and that her daughter does just the same thing. It's a baby's way to discover the basics of the world. Moving things around discovered concepts like up, down, inside and outside. Even things like gravity and floating had to be discovered, and so the only thing he could do was let Heero conduct his little 'experiments' and then clean up afterwards. He didn't care what Sally said, normal or not normal for babies, it was just NOT normal for Heero Yuy. He simply could not accept that Heero had changed into an ignorant little boy, trapped in the body of an adult.

But as time flew by, he was forced to deal with this fact. After all, he was the one who insisted on keeping Heero, and so it was his responsibility to see that the boy will develop well. And babies needed to play around and break things and throw things in order to develop. At least Heero didn't put anything in his mouth all the time like all the other babies Duo had seen. This was due to the fact that Heero's senses were those of an adult, and he didn't need to use his mouth in order to feel things around him. That was a big relief for Duo. He didn't know if he could have handled watching Heero place various artifacts into his mouth all the time.

But nevertheless, Sally still insisted that he needed to give Heero something to busy himself with. Duo wanted to hang himself at the stares he got in the local toy store when he went with Heero to buy toys. The Japanese boy was ecstatic, and Duo tried to restrain him as he bounced from one corner to another, calling out in excitement. That day had brought out one of his worse outbursts, which resulted in many tears from Heero and many harsh words and glares from Sally.

But he couldn't help it. His heart simply refused to accept the facts. While his brain was well aware of what had happened to Heero, his logic telling him that he must do his best to help the boy recover, his heart refused to listen. He was still waiting for Heero to smirk at him and say that he was the biggest baka in the world for being fooled like that. He was still expecting the boy to glare at him each time he told him to go to shower or brush his teeth. He was still waiting for Heero to yell back at him when he snapped at the boy, instead of seeing those large baby blue eyes fill with tears. He was still waiting for Heero to come back to him. In his heart, he was still searching for Heero, like he had been searching for the last two years.

While his mind knew that the quest was over, Duo's heart was still searching, still praying, still wishing and begging for Heero to return to him.

Looking down at the boy now, Duo's heart was reminded that all was for naught. The only Heero Yuy he'll be finding each time he opened his eyes, would be an innocent little nineteen-year-old boy with shining cobalt eyes and scruffy dark hair. A boy who would always be looking up at him like a child would look at his parent. There would always be a child's love and admiration in those naive blue eyes, and there would always be the ragged little bear in his arms to remind Duo, once again, that this was not the strong soldier he was facing.

Duo took a deep breath and released it with a long, miserable, sigh. He gently patted the top of Heero's head and looked down at him sorrowfully. "It's not your fault, Hee-chan. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you," he whispered, running his fingers against Heero's tender cheek. He smiled sadly at the boy, his gaze softening. He lifted up his hand and offered his pinky to the boy, "Friends?"

Heero's lips pouted and he looked up at Duo with an adorable little pout. After some time of 'considering' the situation, Heero smiled deviously and nodded his head. "Hai... but only if Yoshi come!"

Duo forced himself to smile down at the boy and petted his hair again, "Sure, he can come."

"And he seats on table," Heero added another condition.

Duo's smile grew by a little bit, "Deal."

The Japanese boy smiled happily and then wrapped his pinky around Duo's finger. He smiled up at the other boy, his cobalt eyes shining, "Okay... friends."

Duo smiled back, relived.

"I'm gonna put Yoshi shirt!" the boy announced and then quickly bounced out of the bathroom, his bear in hand. Duo remained standing in the bathroom for a while longer, looking after his retreating form. He sighed sadly and then straightened up, walking out of the bathroom as well.

Yoshi... Heero's precious little bear. It was the same bear he held when they had first found him, and he didn't let go of it since. Neither Sally nor Duo could claim to understand Heero's close connection with the bear, nor could they begin to guess why J allowed him to keep it. The best thing they could think of was that it helped to keep Heero's sanity, for the boy grew very attached to the small bear and considered it his closest friend and ally. He wouldn't go ANYWHERE without it, and he would treat it just like another person. It was clear that he loved the bear dearly, and no matter what Duo tried, he refused to let go of it. Walking down the street, the mall, the park... Yoshi was always with him. It was there when he slept and it was there when he had his breakfast. Yoshi and Heero were one, and there was no separating them.

Duo knew that Heero was TOO attached to the damn toy, and he planed on fixing that. Heero could never be a normal person again if he remained walking around with a stuffed bear.

"Duo! Duo! The water's up! It's up! It's up!" Heero's voice called from the kitchen, followed by the sound of water boiling and sliding off the rims of the pot.

"Ahh... shit!" Duo cursed, running out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. He hurried to uncover the pot and turn off the electric stove. "See, I told you the pasta will burn. Now it will be all mushy!" Duo muttered as he rushed to take the pasta out of the pot, pouring it into a colander, holding it above the sink.

"I hold it?" Heero asked, peeking behind Duo's shoulder. He reached out a hand into the sink.

"No, Heero, it's too hot. Why won't you put the wine on the table?"

"Okay!" The Japanese boy called happily and hurried to the fridge, Yoshi in hand. "I pick red one!" He announced with pride, pulling out a bottle of red wine.

Duo smiled faintly. "Fine. That's good. Put it on the table, okay?"

"Okay!" Heero answered and ran out of the kitchen, the refrigerator's door slamming shut behind him.

Duo sighed and shook his head, a little amused by the boy's enthusiasm. He was always excited when Sally and Chang came over, especially because they always brought their baby, Meiran, along with them. He looked up at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall and cursed again. He had about zero time to prepare the sauce. Having no other choice, he opened a bag of instant-sauce, cursing himself for not doing it earlier. That way he would have avoided Sally's teasing comments...

"So how's that Macro case going?" Duo asked casually, halfway into their meal. They were seated around the round dinner table, which Duo had moved out of the kitchen and into the living room, so they could all eat in a nicer setting.

Wufei sighed and shook his head. "No progress, I'm afraid. We're still waiting for the AOS committee to approve of the RK results." He took a sip of his wine and then sighed. "By the rate things are going, I think I might have to go up to Capital again and bribe some senators into giving us the green light..."

Duo chuckled, sipping his wine as well. "I know what you mean. I'm STILL fighting for the rights to get the ALEM case moving to Japan. Those guys can handle it better from there, but the uptight we-got-a-stick-up-our-ass people in Capital just dun get it!"

Sitting quietly in his chair, Heero sighed and looked down at his meal. It was mostly untouched, the small chicken and pasta still lying on his plate, while only a few peas and carrots were missing from the dish. He held his fork limply in his hand, shoving the green peas back and forth, playing with his food but not touching it. His blue sweater now had a small red stain on it, for he had dropped some pasta, earning a harsh look from Duo-chan. So he had given up on the pasta, not wanting to get his clothes dirty and make Duo-chan mad, and so he just sat there, playing with the green peas.

Yoshi was sitting to his right, on his own little chair, also wearing a small white shirt. But Yoshi's shirt didn't have an uncomfortable collar like his shirt. He wondered if he could switch with Yoshi, because his shirt was REALLY uncomfortable, but he didn't want Yoshi to be uncomfortable, so it was a definite no no. Besides, when he looked up, he saw that Wufei was wearing a shirt with a collar and even Duo-chan's shirt had a collar. Sally didn't have a collar, but she was a girl, and Meiran didn't have a collar because she was a baby. Only babies didn't have a collar, so he wanted to keep his collar, because he wasn't so small like Meiran.

"... and then this ASSHOLE from section _six_ tells me I have to go back up there and do it myself!" Duo spoke angrily as he took a swig of his wine.

Heero looked up at the braided boy, blue eyes shining under the candlelight that lit the dinner table. He was trying to catch up with the conversation, looking up at each speaker with great interest.

"No kidding!" Wufei exclaimed, as he leaned one elbow on the table, smirking. "That's some nerve..." He spoke sarcastically.

"Chyeah!" Duo snorted as he put his glass down, grinning at the sarcasm in his friend's voice, "So I shoved the file into that God damned German's hands and told him to stuff it! I ain't doing no section six officer's job! God damn it, I'm the one the fucker is working for! Not the other way around!"

Wufei chuckled, and Heero tried to smile as well, wanting to share the joke, though he failed to understand it.

"And he actually listened to you?"

"Hell yeah!" Duo answered with a wide grin. "And just to teach him a lesson, I assigned him to the PPLS project."

"Ha! You put him on PPLS?" Wufei laughed, punching the table in a fit of laughter.

Heero forced out a chuckle, looking up at Duo-chan, trying to show him that he was listening. But the braided boy was looking up at Wufei, and he didn't notice Heero's smile. The smile faded and Heero's eyes darkened. He bowed his head sadly and returned to pick on his food.

He sighed heavily. At least Duo-chan was smiling, which was a good thing, because Duo-chan didn't smile a lot around him. It was good that Duo-chan was having fun now, because he could never make him smile. He only made his purple eyes turn sad and he got him mad a lot.

"Ha! Poor bastard!" Wufei was laughing hard now, nearly choking on his wine. "Haha! You might as well send him to rot in hell, Maxwell! Cuz NO one deserves to be on PPLS!"

"Chang!" Sally called, sending her husband a reprimanding look.

Duo chuckled again and Heero flinched, as if hurt by the sound. When the laughter calmed, Heero ducked his head between his shoulders, thinking that if he will shrink deep enough, he will disappear and everyone will laugh again.

"Well, I'm sure he had it coming..." Wufei muttered, wiping a tear of laughter out of his eyes. "Great gods, Maxwell, that was one **MISCHIEVOUS** stunt. I bet the guy is cursing himself for ever knowing you!"

Still keeping his gaze down, Heero frowned. "Miss...cho... viii...ous..." he whispered quietly, squashing a few peas with his fork. "Misschovi...ous..? Misschovous..." he repeated quietly, looking down at his plate, unaware of the fact that a pair of worried crystal blue eyes was watching him.

"Heero?" Sally asked in concern, reaching down a hand and resting it on the boy's shoulder. "Heero, are you all right?"

But the boy didn't reply and just continued playing with his food, whispering quietly to himself.

"Heero?" Sally tried again. "What's the matter? Are you not hungry?"

Heero sniffled quietly and looked up, "No..."

"Are you sure?" This time, it was Duo who asked the question, looking worriedly up at Heero. He frowned as he saw the boy bow his head down sadly, looking down at his hands, which were lying on his lap, away from Duo's line of sight.

Heero took a deep breath, his fingers fidgeting. "I... No... I... I want... I want uh..." he mumbled, refusing to lift his gaze up.

Duo sighed and leaned forward, towards Heero, looking at him intensely, "Heero, what's wrong?

Heero closed his eyes sadly, clenching his hands into fists. "I... I want to know... a misscho... uh... I... I'm not hungry... I... uh..." he took a deep breath, looking up quickly. "ThankyouverymuchmayIbeexcused?" he blurted out all at once, looking up at Duo.

Duo's frown deepened.

Heero swallowed. "I, uh... not hungry."

Duo's sighed, "What are you talking about, Heero? You barely touched your food!"

Heero flinched and ducked his head between his shoulders. "Anou... I... uh..." he mumbled, hands fidgeting.

Sensing how tense the situation suddenly became, Sally sighed and turned her gaze away from Duo. She reached down for Heero's hand and smiled at the boy as he turned to look at her. "Heero, why won't you take Meiran and play, okay?" she offered, gesturing at the living room with her head, where the baby was resting quietly on the couch.

Heero's blue eyes seemed to lighten with a new light and he smiled, "Can I? Honto ni?"

Sally smiled warmly at him. "Sure, just make sure she won't swallow anything small..."

"Oh! I will, Sally! I will!" the boy let out excitedly, hurrying to get out of his chair and run over to the couch.

In his seat, Duo sighed and looked away sadly. He bent down to take a quick sip of his wine, closing his eyes as he heard Heero speaking to the baby, the two of them playing along.

Sally smiled and tore her gaze away from the two. She sent a quick glance to Duo, not missing his sudden solemn demeanor. She forced out a chuckle. "Well, at least he ate his vegetables!" she joked, shrugging, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"Yeah..." Duo murmured with a sigh and took another, long, sip of his wine. "Sure..."

"Heero seems to be doing fine," Sally commented as she watched Heero and Meiran play. Heero was holding Meiran's hands in his, sitting in front of the toddler as he played with her, swinging her hands up and down. Meiran was giggling happily, looking up at Heero with admiring brown eyes. Sally had to smile warmly at the sight, her eyes shining with love and pride as she watched the two together. Heero was looking down at the baby as they played, smiling shyly at her, his cobalt eyes shimmering under the dim orange light in the living room. Meiran kept giggling quietly at her friend, her chubby face lightened by her smile.

In the past four months, the two of them became very close. The first thing Heero always did when Duo and he came to visit was to go over to Meiran's playpen. The two could seat on the carpet for hours, finding mutual things to busy themselves with. It was sometimes sad to think about it, but if Heero was happy, then so was she.

Sally sighed, her smile fading. She turned back to Duo. "His speech is well developed."

"He speaks like a four-year-old," Duo spat bitterly. He was now leaning with one elbow on the table, his head resting against his palm, his other hand playing with his food.

Sally sent him a harsh look, "And considering that merely four months ago he was barely able to utter a coherent word, I think that he made a TREMENDOUS progress."

Duo sighed, "Yeah, I guess so... but still..."

"Duo," Wufei spoke up, looking up at the braided man with his sharp black eyes. It was not often when he used Duo's first name, and if he did, it meant that it was serious.

"Duo, I understand that you are upset over the situation, and I can see where your bitterness is coming from, but Yuy is not as weak as you believe him to be. He is trying and his development is growing in a spectacular pace. You should have a little more faith in him."

Duo sighed and cast his gaze down shamefully, picking at his food with his fork.

"Chang is right, Duo," Sally spoke up, her voice soft and her gaze compassionate. "In four months he had learned what takes an infant nearly twenty seven months to learn. He passed Meiran by two years at least! Do you know the average amount of words a newborn learns a week?"

Duo sighed and shook his head.

"Sixty words. It takes them more than three years to learn how to speak fluently. And listen to Heero now, after merely four months he is able to put three and sometimes more words into a logical sentence. He had learned how to walk properly, how to use different tools, all on his own. And he can understand more than you think he can, Duo. In this rate, he'll catch up with his age in a few short years."

"But he won't be the same, so who fucking cares..." Duo whispered harshly, throwing his fork aside. "I don't need all your 'baby growth' statistics!" he growled, restraining himself from raising his voice. "I read them all! I know he's developing, I see it right before my eyes. But I don't see Heero! I don't see him anymore! This is a different person over there! A stranger. This is NOT Heero!"

By now, Duo was panting, his face red and his eyes tearful. He took a few deep breaths, running a hand through his long bangs, struggling for self-control.

Silence fell around the dinner table as all occupants bowed their heads sadly. The only sound in the apartment was the sound of Meiran's laughter as the small infant played with her friend.

Duo sighed deeply, casting a sorrowful look at Heero's direction, before closing his eyes sadly and looking away. "I'll go make some coffee," he let out quietly and retreated to the kitchen.

Sally and Chang looked up at each other worriedly.

Sitting on the carpet not so far away, Heero lifted another toy and rattled it in front of Meiran's dancing eyes. He smiled sadly at her, playing along, while a hot stream of tears slid down his cheeks.

The bright light in Heero's small bedroom was turned off and another, smaller and dimmer light was flipped on. Duo was sitting on the edge of Heero's bed, looking down at the boy as he carefully tucked the blanket around him. This small room used to be his study, but when Heero moved in, he cleared everything out of the room, painted the walls and put some new furniture in. It was a small room, but it held all Heero could ever need, so it was enough. Sighing, Duo looked down at the boy lying on the bed, hugging his bear. He shook his head and reached down for the small toy.

"I don't... I don't want to sleep..." Heero mumbled tiredly as Duo gently pulled Yoshi out of his grasp.

"Heero, it's late. You should go to sleep now," the braided boy answered with a sigh, placing Yoshi on Heero's nightstand. He made sure that the boy's hands were under the blanket and that he could not hold the silly bear. He was trying to make Heero adapt to the feeling of sleeping without his precious bear. He wanted Heero to let go of the stupid toy and begin acting like a grown man. Or at least a teen. Sleeping with a stuffed bear did NOT help Heero achieve that.

"But I want to talk too... like everybody else..." Heero whispered sadly, his blue eyes shimmering under the soft light of his night lamp, looking at Duo pleadingly. "Please Duo-chan? Like everybody else?"

Duo sighed and shook his head, "Heero, it's late. I'll be going to sleep soon, okay? Goodnight."

"No... I want... I want to talk... like everybody else... I can talk too..." Heero mumbled sadly, trying to make him understand. "Like... like you do... I want..."

"Heero, Sally and Fei will be leaving soon. You already said your goodbye. I'm just gonna talk with them a little, and then they'll leave."

"But I want--"

"Heero, what will you talk about?"

Heero pouted, his blue eyes sad and glistering with tears. He looked up at Duo, his face begging him to understand what he was trying so hard to say. But the words just didn't come.

"See? My point exactly. It's a grown-up talk. Even Meiran went to sleep."

"But... But I'm not lik---"

"Go to sleep, Heero," Duo sighed, tired of his game. "Goodnight." He let out, patting Heero's shoulder as he got up. He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Now alone, Heero sniffled and turned to lie on his side. He looked up at Yoshi, sitting by his night lamp. He looked around; making sure that no one was looking, and then carefully reached two hands from underneath the covers. He took his bear and brought it close to his chest, hugging him tightly. He made sure that Yoshi was well covered, so he won't be cold, and then buried his face in the bear's soft head. He whimpered sadly, closing his eyes and squeezing out the tears. "Duo-chan... I want... I want to talk like everybody... like everybody else..."

"Hey, sorry I took so long," Duo apologized as he re-entered the living room, where Wufei and Sally were sitting, Meiran's sleeping form cradled in her mother's arms.

"No problem," Sally answered with a gentle smile. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah," Duo let out with a sigh, pulling out a chair, turning it so the backside was facing the front and sitting down. He leaned on the backside of the chair, looking up at the couple on the couch.

"Isn't it a little early for him to sleep?" Wufei asked, glancing down at his wristwatch. "It's only ten PM."

"It's late enough," Duo let out, looking down at the floor.

"Duo," Sally began harshly, looking at him intensely, "You're treating him like a baby."

"He is a baby," Duo grinded between clenched teeth, still looking down at the floor.

Sally sighed,"Duo, you're not being fair to him."

Violet eyes darted up and glared at the woman intensely, "Not _fair_ to him! Not fair? Me! I'm not being fair to him! What about that bastard who made him like this in the first place?"

"That bastard, Duo, is dead," Wufei growled, looking up at his friend sharply. "But Heero isn't, though it seems you forgot that. You barely notice that he's here."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Duo growled, throwing the chair aside as he got up, "I'm taking VERY good care of him!"

"I'm not saying that you're not," Sally replied calmly, rocking Meiran gently in her arms. "He seems to lack nothing. He is well clothed, he is well fed, but that's not all he needs, Duo."

Duo frowned, though he seemed to be calming down a bit. He slowly settled himself down in his chair, his movements stiff and numb. "Wha... what do you mean..?" he mumbled, his face suddenly pale.

"Duo, when was the last time you and Heero had a conversation?" the woman asked, her gaze compassionate.

Duo's frown deepened. "What do you mean a _conversation_? Heero can barely talk!"

"That's because he has no incentive to do so," Sally replied calmly. "You need to speak with him, Duo. He needs the interaction. I'm sure he will learn much faster if he had someone to speak with."

"It's not that we don't... I mean... we-- we talk. It's not like I don't tell him stuff..." Duo mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"Duo," Sally let out harshly, looking up at him with knowing eyes, "Heero's locked at home all day while you're at work; he has no one to speak with. And when you do come home, what then? Do you talk to him? Do you spend time with him? Do you ask him about his day? Do you take interest in what he has to say?"

With each one of Sally's words, Duo's face paled more and more. The answer for each one of Sally's questions was a definite no. He did none of the above. He just made sure Heero was warm and safe and well fed. He came back home and gave him his dinner, but he never asked him what he did all day. He tucked him to bed and instead of wishing him sweet dreams, he argued with him that he shouldn't sleep with the light on. He would give him breakfast and leave him his lunch for later, but he didn't leave him something to do while he went to work. He just waited for Heero to come out of this all on his own. He actually believed that the boy would come to by himself, and all he had to do was wait.

But in waiting, he ended up delaying Heero's recovery.

"Duo," Sally's voice drew him out of his musings, and he looked up, "Duo, you chose to stay with Heero, and I understand that. I also understand how hard it is for you, believe me that I do. It's hard for all of us to see him like this. But if you can't handle taking care of him, if after all this time you are still unable to cope, I think you should consider letting go."

Duo's eyes widened, and his face paled even more, "What are you saying, Sal? That I should just give up?"

"You're not doing him any good, Duo," Wufei replied instead of his wife. "We have to keep Heero's well-being in mind."

"But he likes it here!" Duo protested, jumping out of his chair. "He WANTS to be here!"

"That's because he got attached to you, Duo. I warned you when we started this. I told you to consider this well before you take him in," Sally explained with a sigh. "He knows nothing better, Duo."

"You're saying that I should send him away..." Duo whispered, sagging back into his chair, his body numb from shock. "You're saying that I should just give up on Heero?"

"It is in my professional opinion, that Heero is better off in a special institute, yes," she sighed, shifting her hold on the baby, and looking up at Duo in a sympathetic gaze. "As a friend, it hurts me to say this. I care for the both of you dearly, and I want the best for the two of you. Duo, I think that you should consider this option, before it's too late."

Violet eyes filled with teats and Duo could do nothing but to stare down at his trembling hands. His face grew hot and red with self-loathing, his features pained and his expression lost. "I..." he choked out, and then trailed off, having nothing to say. He took a deep breath, burying his pale features in his hands. "I..." There was nothing he _could_ say.

Cobalt blue eyes stared numbly at the small night lamp, shimmering with unshed tears. Heero lay in his bed, curled into a small human ball, Yoshi held tightly in his arms. He was looking at the soft orange light emitting from the lamp, his expression forlorn.

Sleeping with a light helped him sleep better. Lying in the dark always made him think of the Bad Dark Place and the Bad Man who lived in the shadows. He knew that everybody else didn't need a lamp. Duo-chan didn't have one and he never saw one in Sally and Chang's room. Meiran had a cow lamp in her room, but she was small and he wasn't. Everybody else wasn't so small either and they didn't sleep with a light.

Heero sighed sadly and closed his eyes. Everybody else could say big words like 'misschovocous' too.

He opened his eyes, looking around sadly. His blue eyes scanned the room, a few tears escaping his eyes and sliding down to the pillow. Determined, he shifted his gaze up to the night lamp and held the switch in his hand. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes tight and prepared to close the switch. He stopped himself though, his eyes flying open again. He took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, and then slowly, carefully, pushed himself to the edge of the bed. Hugging Yoshi tightly, protecting his friend, Heero bent down to check under the bed, making sure no one was hiding in the shadows. Relaxing a little when he saw that there was no one there, he scanned the room one last time and then turned back to the lamp.

He turned off the light and hurried to curl on the bed, holding Yoshi securely. His eyes were closed tightly, his body trembling in fear.

Lying in the dark always made him think about the Bad Man and his Hands. They were always there and you can never know when they will be nice and when they will hurt. Sometimes there were voices, and then you can tell that the Bad Man was coming to you from the shadows. Sometimes it was good when he came, because he brought Good Things. But then it was bad because you always had to pay him back for the Good Things. You had to let him do the Bad Things.

Noises came from the outside and Heero's breathing became frantic, his trembling increasing.

He couldn't take it anymore and he whimpered, flinging his hands up and flipping on the light.

He lay still, panting, his heart racing, pounding strongly against this rib cage.

His eyes remained focused on a single framed photo lying on his nightstand. He had found this photo a long time ago, during his 'explorations' around the house. It was a photo of Duo-chan and the 'Old Heero'. Duo-chan had told him about the 'Old Heero'. He told him how different he was and how smart he was and how he knew everything. Heero knew that he was very different from the 'Old Heero', but he still knew that he _was_ the real and only Heero now. The 'Old Heero' was gone, and he was all that was left. Duo-chan said that it was okay, that he wasn't mad, but Heero figured that he meant that he wasn't mad at the 'Old Heero'. With him, he was always mad. It was just because he wasn't smart enough, like everybody else are.

Sighing, Heero reached for the picture and lifted it up to his face. He examined the 'Old Heero's' face, his expression miserable as he was faced with Duo-chan's smiling face, right next to the 'Old Heero'. It was a nice picture, and he liked it because it had snow in it. He never saw snow before, and he thought that it must be very pretty. In the picture, Duo-chan was wearing a very funny orange coat, and a purple headset over his ears. He had his arm around the 'Old Heero' and the other boy was holding him too. They were both smiling (though the 'Old Heero's' smile was very small) and they looked very happy. It must be because that there was a lot of snow around them, and there was even a snowman. He never built a snowman, but he thought that it would be fun if he could. But it wasn't the reason the two were smiling. They were smiling because they were happy. Duo-chan used to smile a lot.

Heero sighed and reached out a hand, gently caressing Duo-chan's smiling face. Sometimes Duo-chan smiled at people in the street, and sometimes, and those were the best times, he would smile at him. But it didn't happen a lot.

He bet that the 'Old Heero' was never afraid of the dark. He bet that he didn't sleep with a night lamp and that he could say big words like 'misschovounos'. Duo-chan probably smiled a lot because the 'Old Heero' was VERY VERY smart.

Not like him.

He couldn't help it and a whimper escaped his lips. His trembling hand gently placed the picture on the nightstand, touching it as if it was some holy artifact. Duo-chan never took a picture of him, so he only had this picture to keep. It was okay, because he and the 'Old Heero' looked about the same. And Duo-chan was smiling here, so it was a VERY nice picture. He cherished Duo-chan's smile dearly, sometimes even more than he cherished Yoshi.

Closing his eyes, Heero curled tightly on the bed, holding Yoshi close to his heart. He let out another small whimper and then closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But all he could think of was Duo-chan's smile and how much he wanted him to take a picture of him too.

As silver tears ran out of his shut eyes, Heero cried silently in his bed, whispering into thin air: "...missco... misscho... mischovunos... mischovouns. . ."

"Goodnight Duo. I'll be seeing you in the office," Wufei spoke with a soft smile and shook Duo's hand.

"Yeah, bye Fei," Duo answered, holding the door open, a small smile on his face, "Drive safely."

Wufei nodded, holding onto Meiran's pram. The baby was sleeping soundly in her small pram, sucking on her thumb. "I will," Wufei promised and pushed the pram out the door.

"That was a great dinner, Duo. Better than I excepted," Sally spoke with a wink, hugging Duo before she left to the door.

"Heh, thanks Sal. I told you I don't eat junk food," Duo answered with half a smile.

"Only when I'm around," Sally teased, seeing straight through Duo's bitter smile.

Duo rolled his eyes, "Right."

"Well, goodnight, Duo. You take car of yourself, you hear?" Sally added, right before leaving.

"I'll try," Duo joked, forcing out a chuckle.

Blue eyes looked at him harshly, "I mean it, Duo."

"Yeah, I know, thanks Sal," he let out seriously, nodding his head. He walked the young woman out the door and into the hallway, where Wufei was waiting. "Bye Mei-chan! Don't give them too much trouble," he called quietly, waving a goodbye at the small, sleeping, infant.

Sally smiled, and bent down to kiss his cheek as a finale goodbye. Duo smiled faintly watched the three leave and then walked back in, closing the door. He then leaned on it and sighed heavily, his eyes looking around the empty apartment, suddenly feeling very alone. He could feel Heero's presence in his bedroom, but it was a small comfort.

Duo closed his eyes sadly and with a sigh, he pushed himself off the door. He set to clear the table and do the dishes, working alone in a silent and heavy atmosphere. His violet eyes shone under the hard kitchen light, glistering with unshed tears that slid down to his cheeks and into the sink. He sniffled quietly, wiping the tears away with his sleeve from time to time.

It was time he began to face it.

This isn't working out.

He can't go on like this.

Heero had to go.

The next evening, Duo silently entered Heero's room. He had spent the whole day brooding and thinking and soul searching until he had to face the inevitable. All that was left to do, was tell Heero.

The said boy was lying curled up in his bed, facing the nightstand. Yoshi was held tightly in his arms, though Duo had made sure that the bear would lie on the nightstand and not the bed before he left the room. The hell with it! It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

Sighing, he approached the bed slowly and carefully sat down on the edge, looking down at Heero with a wretched expression. He took his time in just studying the boy's sleeping features, his own features softening at the sight. Heero's bronze skin looked rich and golden under the dim orange light, his expression peaceful and his chocolate-brown bangs sprawled carelessly over the pillow as he slept. His lips, once pale pink and now back to their rich and rosebud color, were slightly parted as he breathed, his steady breathing teasing a few stray hairs up and down. Yoshi lay securely in his arms, his head pressed against Heero's chest.

When he looked over to the nightstand, he could see Heero's favorite picture standing proudly, and next to it, lay a small piece of paper and a few crayons. Looking down at the paper, Duo could see that it was a drawing Heero had made. He vaguely remembered Heero showing him the drawing, but he never really looked at it, and just muttered a few hollow words, saying that it was 'nice'. Now, he could see that it was a picture of a snowman, a smiling one. He also had a long, snow braid. Next to it, stood a stick figure of a boy. He too had a braid, but he wasn't smiling. He looked very angry. Duo's heart clench painfully at the sight and he hurried to look away. He sighed, took a deep breath, and slowly turned back to face the sleeping boy. Sighing sadly, he reached down a hand and gently placed in on Heero's shoulder. He nudged the boy slightly.

Cobalt blue eyes slowly fluttered open, and Heero stirred a little, sheets rustling. When he was lucid enough, he opened his eyes fully and looked up at the one who woke him. When cobalt met violet, a shy smile appeared on Heero's features. The boy rubbed his eyes, turning to lie on his back, smiling up at Duo.

"Hey," Duo whispered, smiling sadly at the boy. "I'm sorry to wake you," he continued silently, reaching down to push a few hairs out of Heero's eyes.

The Japanese boy smiled and closed his eyes at the tender touch, sighing pleasantly.

"I have something important to tell you, Hee-chan."

The blue eyes flew wide open, fear, confusion and worry swirling within the cobalt oceans. "Wha... a... a question?" the boy stuttered, his voice suddenly small and uncertain.

Duo sighed and shook his head, "No. Not a question."

"Oh," Heero let out sadly, bowing his head, "Something bad, right?"

Duo sighed again, closing his eyes. He nodded.

Taking in a shaky breath, Heero sniffled and tried to fight off the tears. He refused to lift his gaze up from the bed, waiting for Duo to speak.

"I'm going away for a while, Heero."

His hold on Yoshi tightened, his fists clenched.

"I... I have to... I... I need some time alone..." Duo whispered, his voice heavy with tears. He lifted his gaze, looking at Heero, violet eyes shimmering with tears, "You understand, right Heero?"

There was no answer, though he could hear the boy sniffle.

Duo sighed, reaching down his hand for Heero's. But the boy pulled away.

"But what I do wrong? Why are you so mad all time? I do everyhing wrong? I try hard!" Heero cried, tears flooding his eyes. "I try more hard! Please Duo-chan! I try more hard!"

"Heero," Duo let out, not knowing exactly how to say. "Heero, that's not it... It's not what you do or don't do..."

"Then why you want to go?" Heero wept pathetically, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. "I can be better!" he called, two hands flying and grabbing Duo's arms. "Ne, Duo-chan? I do better and you stay? Ne?" Seeing that Duo was not responding, Heero tugged desperately at his hands. "...ne?"

Duo sighed and pulled away, placing his hands in his lap as he turned his back to Heero. He looked up numbly at the opposite wall, tears trailing down his cheeks.

Heero sniffled and staggered back a little, hurt by Duo's reaction. He brought Yoshi up to his chest, holding him tightly as he looked at Duo with shimmeirng blue eyes. "...ne? Duo-chan--? ...ne?"

Taking a deep breath, Duo bowed his head and slowly shook it from side to side, "It's just... it's just that everything is so confusing right now, Heero... I... just need time, that's all. I just need time to think..."

Heero's crying increased, and he was trembling hard now, "I come with you?"

"I just need time," Duo repeated, ignoring Heero's pleas, his voice sad and quiet.

"But I can do better..." Heero whispered, tearful cobalt eyes peeking out from between messy bangs. "I can... I can learn... I can... I know all the words Duo-chan! I promise!" he cried, his voice turning hysteric. "I promise Duo-chan! I promise I know all the words!" he called desperately, reaching up two hands towards Duo, grabbing the braided boy's hands tightly, his own arms shaking.

"Heero..." Duo whispered sadly, looking down at the boy with pained violet eyes. "Heero, I'm sorry. But I just..."

"I learn all the big words!" Heero promised, his eyes pleading with Duo. "I'll know all the big ones Duo-chan! I learn all the big ones!"

"Heero..." Duo choked out from between the tears. He reached up a hand and gently caressed Heero's tender cheek, wiping away the hot droplets of salty tears. "Heero, it's not that... I... I'm just a little confused right now and..."

"Why you not want me anymore? I can know all the words, Duo-chan! I promise!" Heero cried, coming to sit up on his knees, holding Duo's hands and looking up at him desperately.

"Heero, I need time. I have to get out of here. I... I have to. Please try to understand." Duo whispered, reaching up to pet Heero's messy hair. "Please, Hee-chan. Please try to understand that."

Sniffling, Heero bowed his head and let go of Duo's hands. He reached back for Yoshi, dragging the small bear over the bed and then he brought him up to lie on his lap. He looked down sadly at the small bear, sobbing and sniffling as his fingers played with the soft fur.

"You... you come back, right?" he whispered, afraid of the answer, so he didn't look up.

Duo sighed, looking down at Heero thoughtfully. It was a long time before he could bring himself to answer. "Yes, Heero, I'll come back." _If only to say goodbye... _

Heero sniffled, still looking down at the bear, his fingers playing with it, "Then I... I wait for you, okay?" he asked quietly, his voice small and miserable. "I can... I can make the food too... I learn how..." he mumbled, his vision blurry from tears. "You teach me?"

Duo didn't answer, and just nodded his head ever so slightly. With a great sigh, he pushed himself off the bed and prepared to leave, "I'll bring you over to Fei and Sally, kay?"

On the bed, Heero merely nodded, unable to lift his gaze up and look into those hurting violet eyes. He guessed that the answer was a 'no'. He got Duo-chan so mad that he didn't want to teach him anything anymore. He wasn't smart enough to learn anyway.

"Goodnight," Duo let out with a sigh, and then walked away, closing the door behind him.

Heero remained kneeling down on the bed, crying silently. He slowly brought Yoshi up and hugged him tightly, tucking the small head under his chin and closing his eyes tightly. His thin figure looked so small land so alone, seated like that on the small bed, holding his bear as if it could make everything all right.

He threw himself down at the covers, curling into a small ball and crying brokenly into his friend's small body.

"Miss-- misscho-- misscovoune-- mischi-- evou-- mischievou..." he whispered between sobs and tears, curling even more into a fetal position. "Mischievous... mischievous... I can say it now, Duo-chan... please... I can say it now... mischievous..." He cried over and over, his tears staining the pillow and his trembling shaking the small bed. "Just like everybody else... Duo-chan... just like everybody else..."

Tearful cobalt eyes looked up at the picture on the nightstand and the sobs increased. He reached up a shaking hand and took the picture, his tearful eyes glued to the image of Duo's smiling face. He looked deeply into those shining violet eyes, lighted with laughter and content. Usually he would smile back at the picture, but now it only brought more sobs and a painful feeling in his chest.

He whimpered, curling back on the bed, hugging the picture and Yoshi close to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Duo-chan... I'm sorry I not like everybody else... I'm sorry..." he cried until he fell asleep, curled on the bed, hugging the picture and his bear. "No one smile at us, Yoshi... no one smiles..."


	5. Chapter 5

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is a bit longer... or the other ones were just shorter..? Hmm... hard to tell... I think that this is going to turn out as a long fic... : Gomen! Expect long chapters... cuz my objective is not to make a chapter about X pages long, but to get the story moving from point A to B. So... it should take X or Y or Z pages, but it WILL get from one point to another... GOMEN! begs for your forgiveness ;;

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**BORN AGAIN**

**CHAPTER FOUR- **

**ECLIPSE OF THE HEART **

"Hands up, c'mon." Duo let out with a light groan, looking down at Heero with impatient eyes. They were standing in the steamy bathroom, after Duo had given Heero his shower. In his hand, he was holding a blue sweater, ready to put it on the boy.

"I want... I want alone..." Heero mumbled tentatively, lips pouting.

Duo sighed. "Heero, you already tried with the shirt, and you saw that it wasn't working. Stop being stubborn." Duo demanded, sending a hasty glance at his wristwatch. He sighed and looked up at Heero. "C'mon, Hee-chan, Wufei and Sally will be here in ANY minute now!"

"I want!" Heero called, pouting, trying to pull the sweater out of Duo's grasp.

"No!" Duo answered sharply, yanking the sweater out of Heero's weak hold. He then forcefully shoved the sweater down Heero's head, pushing it down and hurrying to grab Heero's arms, forcing them through the sleeves.

"But I wanted to!" Heero whined, still pouting, as Duo fixed his white shirt's collar, pulling it out from underneath the sweater. He kneeled down and quickly tidied the white sleeves of the shirt, folding them neatly around the blue sweater.

"There's no time." Duo grunted as he fixed Heero's dark gray trousers, for they were a little big and kept slipping off his slim waist. While Heero _did_ gain some weight since they found him, and he had a much healthier look now, he was still very thin. "I told you to get ready earlier, but you wouldn't budge from the TV now would you!" He muttered with a sigh, getting up and rushing to tidy Heero's messy bangs a bit.

"But Eddie and Mu--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know... The Eddie and Murf show. But I told you we have company tonight, and if the pasta is burning right now, it's all your fault and you'll have to deal with a hungry Wufei!" He berated, planting two hands on his hips, glaring down at the boy.

Heero sniffled, bowing his head sadly. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled, his blue eyes sad. "I'm sorry, Do-chan... I'm sorry..."

Duo sighed, calming down a bit. He had been too harsh on Heero, and not for the first time either. For the last four months all he did was bounce back and forth from frustrated outbursts to sorrowful apologies. Always hanging between moments of joy and pride and times of frustration and tears. Tears and joy. Hurt and laughter. A caress and a shout. Anger and delight. Hate and love.

He was always swinging between the two, struggling to do what's right, but yet having a hard time to keep his cool when things got a little _too_ difficult. For nearly four months he had been trying to keep strong, to keep his act together and help Heero recover. It was a long and difficult process, but he guessed that it was worth it.

After four months, Heero was his own person again. Well, mostly. In a short amount of time he had picked up on his motoric and language skills. At first, he was more than a little clumsy. He had a hard time to learn how to use different tools, as simple as they may have been, and his walking was a bit awkward. He was unused to walking, and so he had to relearn that as well. At the time, Sally was amazed that Heero could do what takes a normal baby about twelve months to learn. Her explanation was that because humans are born with the natural instinct to walk, Heero had mastered that rather quickly. Babies take so long to walk because their muscles are weak and their heads are too heavy. They are born with the natural reflexes of walking, but since their body is unable to execute it, they soon forget it and are left with the need to learn it again. Taking into mind that Heero was NOT a baby, not in the physical sense; he had managed to master walking very quickly.

Learning to speak was another matter. It took him about two months before he began to mutter coherent words. It wasn't that he didn't understand what he was hearing, but it was a matter of learning how to work his mouth and tongue in order to pronounce those words. It was very frustrating for Duo when Heero began to imitate him in whatever he said or did. Sally said that it was only natural, that it was the normal way for humans to learn, but it still bothered the braided youth to no end. He would be sitting in front of the television with Heero, and then the boy would suddenly start talking quietly to himself, repeating what the news anchor or weatherman said. Sally explained that Heero was trying to teach himself, as would any child, how to pronounce the words properly.

Then of course, there was the pointing. Heero's favorite game for the first three months. He pointed at everything and anything, looking at Duo anxiously, waiting for him to say the word or name the object. Sally explained that by performing this little 'game', Heero's vocabulary was increasing in about a hundred words per week, possibly even more. In ten weeks he was already able to produce a typical three-year-old, two-word, sentence, managing to pick up a basic conversation. His speech was like a telegram, leaving out all unimportant words, but it was enough to help him be understood.

Needless to say that the 'pointing stage' was hell on poor Duo. His face redden in shame each time he would be walking down the mall or in a public park and then Heero would start pointing and nagging until he was answered. People would always send him weird glances, mothers walking with their babies would stare at the both of them in shock. Duo would then want nothing but to bury his head in the ground and never come out. He avoided going out with Heero whenever he could, trying to save himself the embarrassment.

But keeping Heero at home wasn't easy either. The boy would always leave a mess around the house; exploring everything he could put his hands on. Each night Duo found himself cleaning up the place, after putting Heero to sleep, sighing heavily to himself as he cleaned the living room, which had turned into Heero's little laboratory. Sally kept saying that it is normal and that her daughter does just the same thing. It's a baby's way to discover the basics of the world. Moving things around discovered concepts like up, down, inside and outside. Even things like gravity and floating had to be discovered, and so the only thing he could do was let Heero conduct his little 'experiments' and then clean up afterwards. He didn't care what Sally said, normal or not normal for babies, it was just NOT normal for Heero Yuy. He simply could not accept that Heero had changed into an ignorant little boy, trapped in the body of an adult.

But as time flew by, he was forced to deal with this fact. After all, he was the one who insisted on keeping Heero, and so it was his responsibility to see that the boy will develop well. And babies needed to play around and break things and throw things in order to develop. At least Heero didn't put anything in his mouth all the time like all the other babies Duo had seen. This was due to the fact that Heero's senses were those of an adult, and he didn't need to use his mouth in order to feel things around him. That was a big relief for Duo. He didn't know if he could have handled watching Heero place various artifacts into his mouth all the time.

But nevertheless, Sally still insisted that he needed to give Heero something to busy himself with. Duo wanted to hang himself at the stares he got in the local toy store when he went with Heero to buy toys. The Japanese boy was ecstatic, and Duo tried to restrain him as he bounced from one corner to another, calling out in excitement. That day had brought out one of his worse outbursts, which resulted in many tears from Heero and many harsh words and glares from Sally.

But he couldn't help it. His heart simply refused to accept the facts. While his brain was well aware of what had happened to Heero, his logic telling him that he must do his best to help the boy recover, his heart refused to listen. He was still waiting for Heero to smirk at him and say that he was the biggest baka in the world for being fooled like that. He was still expecting the boy to glare at him each time he told him to go to shower or brush his teeth. He was still waiting for Heero to yell back at him when he snapped at the boy, instead of seeing those large baby blue eyes fill with tears. He was still waiting for Heero to come back to him. In his heart, he was still searching for Heero, like he had been searching for the last two years.

While his mind knew that the quest was over, Duo's heart was still searching, still praying, still wishing and begging for Heero to return to him.

Looking down at the boy now, Duo's heart was reminded that all was for naught. The only Heero Yuy he'll be finding each time he opened his eyes, would be an innocent little nineteen-year-old boy with shining cobalt eyes and scruffy dark hair. A boy who would always be looking up at him like a child would look at his parent. There would always be a child's love and admiration in those naive blue eyes, and there would always be the ragged little bear in his arms to remind Duo, once again, that this was not the strong soldier he was facing.

Duo took a deep breath and released it with a long, miserable, sigh. He gently patted the top of Heero's head and looked down at him sorrowfully. "It's not your fault, Hee-chan. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you." He whispered, running his fingers against Heero's tender cheek. He smiled sadly at the boy, his gaze softening. He lifted up his hand and offered his pinky to the boy. "Friends?"

Heero's lips pouted and he looked up at Duo with an adorable little pout. After some time of 'considering' the situation, Heero smiled deviously and nodded his head. "Hai... but only if Yoshi come!"

Duo forced himself to smile down at the boy and petted his hair again. "Sure, he can come."

"And he seats on table." Heero added another condition.

Duo's smile grew by a little bit. "Deal."

The Japanese boy smiled happily and then wrapped his pinky around Duo's finger. He smiled up at the other boy, his cobalt eyes shining. "Okay... friends."

Duo smiled back, relived.

"I'm gonna put Yoshi shirt!" The boy announced and then quickly bounced out of the bathroom, his bear in hand. Duo remained standing in the bathroom for a while longer, looking after his retreating form. He sighed sadly and then straightened up, walking out of the bathroom as well.

Yoshi... Heero's precious little bear. It was the same bear he held when they had first found him, and he didn't let go of it since. Neither Sally nor Duo could claim to understand Heero's close connection with the bear, nor could they begin to guess why J allowed him to keep it. The best thing they could think of was that it helped to keep Heero's sanity, for the boy grew very attached to the small bear and considered it his closest friend and ally. He wouldn't go ANYWHERE without it, and he would treat it just like another person. It was clear that he loved the bear dearly, and no matter what Duo tried, he refused to let go of it. Walking down the street, the mall, the park... Yoshi was always with him. It was there when he slept and it was there when he had his breakfast. Yoshi and Heero were one, and there was no separating them.

Duo knew that Heero was TOO attached to the damn toy, and he planed on fixing that. Heero could never be a normal person again if he remained walking around with a stuffed bear.

"Do-chan! Do-chan! The water's up! It's up! It's up!" Heero's voice called from the kitchen, followed by the sound of water boiling and sliding off the rims of the pot.

"Ahh... shit!" Duo cursed, running out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. He hurried to uncover the pot and turn off the electric stove. "See, I told you the pasta will burn. Now it will be all mushy!" Duo muttered as he rushed to take the pasta out of the pot, pouring it into a colander, holding it above the sink.

"I hold it?" Heero asked, peeking behind Duo's shoulder. He reached out a hand into the sink.

"No, Heero, it's too hot. Why won't you put the wine on the table?"

"Okay!" The Japanese boy called happily and hurried to the fridge, Yoshi in hand. "I pick red one!" He announced with pride, pulling out a bottle of red wine.

Duo smiled faintly. "Fine. That's good. Put it on the table, okay?"

"Okay!" Heero answered and ran out of the kitchen, the refrigerator's door slamming shut behind him.

Duo sighed and shook his head, a little amused by the boy's enthusiasm. He was always excited when Sally and Chang came over, especially because they always brought their baby, Meiran, along with them. He looked up at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall and cursed again. He had about zero time to prepare the sauce. Having no other choice, he opened a bag of instant-sauce, cursing himself for not doing it earlier. That way he would have avoided Sally's teasing comments...

"So how's that Macro case going?" Duo asked casually, halfway into their meal. They were seated around the round dinner table, which Duo had moved out of the kitchen and into the living room, so they could all eat in a nicer setting.

Wufei sighed and shook his head. "No progress, I'm afraid. We're still waiting for the AOS committee to approve of the RK results." He took a sip of his wine and then sighed. "By the rate things are going, I think I might have to go up to Capital again and bribe some senators into giving us the green light..."

Duo chuckled, sipping his wine as well. "I know what you mean. I'm STILL fighting for the rights to get the ALEM case moving to Japan. Those guys can handle it better from there, but the uptight we-got-a-stick-up-our-ass people in Capital just dun get it!"

Sitting quietly in his chair, Heero sighed and looked down at his meal. It was mostly untouched, the small chicken and pasta still lying on his plate, while only a few peas and carrots were missing from the dish. He held his fork limply in his hand, shoving the green peas back and forth, playing with his food but not touching it. His blue sweater now had a small red stain on it, for he had dropped some pasta, earning a harsh look from Do-chan. So he had given up on the pasta, not wanting to get his clothes dirty and make Do-chan mad, and so he just sat there, playing with the green peas.

Yoshi was sitting to his right, on his own little chair, also wearing a small white shirt. But Yoshi's shirt didn't have an uncomfortable collar like his shirt. He wondered if he could switch with Yoshi, because his shirt was REALLY uncomfortable, but he didn't want Yoshi to be uncomfortable, so it was a definite no no. Besides, when he looked up, he saw that Wufei was wearing a shirt with a collar and even Do-chan's shirt had a collar. Sally didn't have a collar, but she was a girl, and Meiran didn't have a collar because she was a baby. Only babies didn't have a collar, so he wanted to keep his collar, because he wasn't so small like Meiran.

"... and then this ASSHOLE from section _six_ tells me I have to go back up there and do it myself!" Duo spoke angrily as he took a swig of his wine.

Heero looked up at the braided boy, blue eyes shining under the candlelight that lit the dinner table. He was trying to catch up with the conversation, looking up at each speaker with great interest.

"No kidding!" Wufei exclaimed, as he leaned one elbow on the table, smirking. "That's some nerve..." He spoke sarcastically.

"Chyeah!" Duo snorted as he put his glass down, grinning at the sarcasm in his friend's voice. "So I shoved the file into that God damned German's hands and told him to stuff it! I ain't doing no section six officer's job! God damn it, I'm the one the fucker is working for! Not the other way around!"

Wufei chuckled, and Heero tried to smile as well, wanting to share the joke, though he failed to understand it.

"And he actually listened to you?"

"Hell yeah!" Duo answered with a wide grin. "And just to teach him a lesson, I assigned him to the PPLS project."

"Ha! You put him on PPLS?" Wufei laughed, punching the table in a fit of laughter.

Heero forced out a chuckle, looking up at Do-chan, trying to show him that he was listening. But the braided boy was looking up at Wufei, and he didn't notice Heero's smile. The smile faded and Heero's eyes darkened. He bowed his head sadly and returned to pick on his food.

He sighed heavily. At least Do-chan was smiling, which was a good thing, because Do-chan didn't smile a lot around him. It was good that Do-chan was having fun now, because he could never make him smile. He only made his purple eyes turn sad and he got him mad a lot.

"Ha! Poor bastard!" Wufei was laughing hard now, nearly choking on his wine. "Haha! You might as well send him to rot in hell, Maxwell! Cuz NO one deserves to be on PPLS!"

"Chang!" Sally called, sending her husband a reprimanding look.

Duo chuckled again and Heero flinched, as if hurt by the sound. When the laughter calmed, Heero ducked his head between his shoulders, thinking that if he will shrink deep enough, he will disappear and everyone will laugh again.

"Well, I'm sure he had it coming..." Wufei muttered, wiping a tear of laughter out of his eyes. "Great gods, Maxwell, that was one **MISCHIEVOUS** stunt. I bet the guy is cursing himself for ever knowing you!"

Still keeping his gaze down, Heero frowned. "Miss...cho... viii...ous..." He whispered quietly, squashing a few peas with his fork. "Misschovi...ous..? Misschovous..." He repeated quietly, looking down at his plate, unaware of the fact that a pair of worried crystal blue eyes was watching him.

"Heero?" Sally asked in concern, reaching down a hand and resting it on the boy's shoulder. "Heero, are you all right?"

But the boy didn't reply and just continued playing with his food, whispering quietly to himself.

"Heero?" Sally tried again. "What's the matter? Are you not hungry?"

Heero sniffled quietly and looked up. "No..."

"Are you sure?" This time, it was Duo who asked the question, looking worriedly up at Heero. He frowned as he saw the boy bow his head down sadly, looking down at his hands, which were lying on his lap, away from Duo's line of sight.

Heero took a deep breath, his fingers fidgeting. "I... No... I... I want... I want uh..." He mumbled, refusing to lift his gaze up.

Duo sighed and leaned forward, towards Heero, looking at him intensely. "Heero, what's wrong?

Heero closed his eyes sadly, clenching his hands into fists. "I... I want to know... a misscho... uh... I... I'm not hungry... I... uh..." He took a deep breath, looking up quickly. "ThankyouverymuchmayIbeexcused?" He blurted out all at once, looking up at Duo.

Duo's frown deepened.

Heero swallowed. "I, uh... not hungry."

Duo's sighed. "What are you talking about, Heero? You barely touched your food!"

Heero flinched and ducked his head between his shoulders. "Anou... I... uh..." He mumbled, hands fidgeting.

Sensing how tense the situation suddenly became, Sally sighed and turned her gaze away from Duo. She reached down for Heero's hand and smiled at the boy as he turned to look at her. "Heero, why won't you take Meiran and play, okay?" She offered, gesturing at the living room with her head, where the baby was resting quietly on the couch.

Heero's blue eyes seemed to lighten with a new light and he smiled. "Can I? Honto ni?"

Sally smiled warmly at him. "Sure, just make sure she won't swallow anything small..."

"Oh! I will, Sally! I will!" The boy let out excitedly, hurrying to get out of his chair and run over to the couch.

In his seat, Duo sighed and looked away sadly. He bent down to take a quick sip of his wine, closing his eyes as he heard Heero speaking to the baby, the two of them playing along.

Sally smiled and tore her gaze away from the two. She sent a quick glance to Duo, not missing his sudden solemn demeanor. She forced out a chuckle. "Well, at least he ate his vegetables!" She joked, shrugging, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"Yeah..." Duo murmured with a sigh and took another, long, sip of his wine. "Sure..."

"Heero seems to be doing fine." Sally commented as she watched Heero and Meiran play. Heero was holding Meiran's hands in his, sitting in front of the toddler as he played with her, swinging her hands up and down. Meiran was giggling happily, looking up at Heero with admiring brown eyes. Sally had to smile warmly at the sight, her eyes shining with love and pride as she watched the two together. Heero was looking down at the baby as they played, smiling shyly at her, his cobalt eyes shimmering under the dim orange light in the living room. Meiran kept giggling quietly at her friend, her chubby face lightened by her smile.

In the past four months, the two of them became very close. The first thing Heero always did when Duo and he came to visit was to go over to Meiran's playpen. The two could seat on the carpet for hours, finding mutual things to busy themselves with. It was sometimes sad to think about it, but if Heero was happy, then so was she.

Sally sighed, her smile fading. She turned back to Duo. "His speech is well developed."

"He speaks like a four-year-old." Duo spat bitterly. He was now leaning with one elbow on the table, his head resting against his palm, his other hand playing with his food.

Sally sent him a harsh look. "And considering that merely four months ago he was barely able to utter a coherent word, I think that he made a TREMENDOUS progress."

Duo sighed. "Yeah, I guess so... but still..."

"Duo." Wufei spoke up, looking up at the braided man with his sharp black eyes. It was not often when he used Duo's first name, and if he did, it meant that it was serious.

"Duo, I understand that you are upset over the situation, and I can see where your bitterness is coming from, but Yuy is not as weak as you believe him to be. He is trying and his development is growing in a spectacular pace. You should have a little more faith in him."

Duo sighed and cast his gaze down shamefully, picking at his food with his fork.

"Chang is right, Duo." Sally spoke up, her voice soft and her gaze compassionate. "In four months he had learned what takes an infant nearly twenty seven months to learn. He passed Meiran by two years at least! Do you know the average amount of words a newborn learns a week?"

Duo sighed and shook his head.

"Sixty words. It takes them more than three years to learn how to speak fluently. And listen to Heero now, after merely four months he is able to put three and sometimes more words into a logical sentence. He had learned how to walk properly, how to use different tools, all on his own. And he can understand more than you think he can, Duo. In this rate, he'll catch up with his age in a few short years."

"But he won't be the same, so who fucking cares..." Duo whispered harshly, throwing his fork aside. "I don't need all your 'baby growth' statistics!" He growled, restraining himself from raising his voice. "I read them all! I know he's developing, I see it right before my eyes. But I don't see Heero! I don't see him anymore! This is a different person over there! A stranger. This is NOT Heero!"

By now, Duo was panting, his face red and his eyes tearful. He took a few deep breaths, running a hand through his long bangs, struggling for self-control.

Silence fell around the dinner table as all occupants bowed their heads sadly. The only sound in the apartment was the sound of Meiran's laughter as the small infant played with her friend.

Duo sighed deeply, casting a sorrowful look at Heero's direction, before closing his eyes sadly and looking away. "I'll go make some coffee." He let out quietly and retreated to the kitchen.

Sally and Chang looked up at each other worriedly.

Sitting on the carpet not so far away, Heero lifted another toy and rattled it in front of Meiran's dancing eyes. He smiled sadly at her, playing along, while a hot stream of tears slid down his cheeks.

The bright light in Heero's small bedroom was turned off and another, smaller and dimmer light was flipped on. Duo was sitting on the edge of Heero's bed, looking down at the boy as he carefully tucked the blanket around him. This small room used to be his study, but when Heero moved in, he cleared everything out of the room, painted the walls and put some new furniture in. It was a small room, but it held all Heero could ever need, so it was enough. Sighing, Duo looked down at the boy lying on the bed, hugging his bear. He shook his head and reached down for the small toy.

"I don't... I don't want to sleep..." Heero mumbled tiredly as Duo gently pulled Yoshi out of his grasp.

"Heero, it's late. You should go to sleep now." The braided boy answered with a sigh, placing Yoshi on Heero's nightstand. He made sure that the boy's hands were under the blanket and that he could not hold the silly bear. He was trying to make Heero adapt to the feeling of sleeping without his precious bear. He wanted Heero to let go of the stupid toy and begin acting like a grown man. Or at least a teen. Sleeping with a stuffed bear did NOT help Heero achieve that.

"But I want to talk too... like everybody else..." Heero whispered sadly, his blue eyes shimmering under the soft light of his night lamp, looking at Duo pleadingly. "Please Do-chan? Like everybody else?"

Duo sighed and shook his head. "Heero, it's late. I'll be going to sleep soon, okay? Goodnight."

"No... I want... I want to talk... like everybody else... I can talk too..." Heero mumbled sadly, trying to make him understand. "Like... like you do... I want..."

"Heero, Sally and Fei will be leaving soon. You already said your goodbye. I'm just gonna talk with them a little, and then they'll leave."

"But I want--"

"Heero, what will you talk about?"

Heero pouted, his blue eyes sad and glistering with tears. He looked up at Duo, his face begging him to understand what he was trying so hard to say. But the words just didn't come.

"See? My point exactly. It's a grown-up talk. Even Meiran went to sleep."

"But... But I'm not lik---"

"Go to sleep, Heero." Duo sighed, tired of his game. "Goodnight." He let out, patting Heero's shoulder as he got up. He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Now alone, Heero sniffled and turned to lie on his side. He looked up at Yoshi, sitting by his night lamp. He looked around; making sure that no one was looking, and then carefully reached two hands from underneath the covers. He took his bear and brought it close to his chest, hugging him tightly. He made sure that Yoshi was well covered, so he won't be cold, and then buried his face in the bear's soft head. He whimpered sadly, closing his eyes and squeezing out the tears. "Do-chan... I want... I want to talk like everybody... like everybody else..."

"Hey, sorry I took so long." Duo apologized as he re-entered the living room, where Wufei and Sally were sitting, Meiran's sleeping form cradled in her mother's arms.

"No problem." Sally answered with a gentle smile. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah." Duo let out with a sigh, pulling out a chair, turning it so the backside was facing the front and sitting down. He leaned on the backside of the chair, looking up at the couple on the couch.

"Isn't it a little early for him to sleep?" Wufei asked, glancing down at his wristwatch. "It's only ten PM."

"It's late enough." Duo let out, looking down at the floor.

"Duo," Sally began harshly, looking at him intensely. "You're treating him like a baby."

"He is a baby." Duo grinded between clenched teeth, still looking down at the floor.

Sally sighed. "Duo, you're not being fair to him."

Violet eyes darted up and glared at the woman intensely. "Not _fair_ to him! Not fair? Me! I'm not being fair to him! What about that bastard who made him like this in the first place?"

"That bastard, Duo, is dead." Wufei growled, looking up at his friend sharply. "But Heero isn't, though it seems you forgot that. You barely notice that he's here."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Duo growled, throwing the chair aside as he got up. "I'm taking VERY good care of him!"

"I'm not saying that you're not." Sally replied calmly, rocking Meiran gently in her arms. "He seems to lack nothing. He is well clothed, he is well fed, but that's not all he needs, Duo."

Duo frowned, though he seemed to be calming down a bit. He slowly settled himself down in his chair, his movements stiff and numb. "Wha... what do you mean..?" He mumbled, his face suddenly pale.

"Duo, when was the last time you and Heero had a conversation?" The woman asked, her gaze compassionate.

Duo's frown deepened. "What do you mean a _conversation_? Heero can barely talk!"

"That's because he has no incentive to do so." Sally replied calmly. "You need to speak with him, Duo. He needs the interaction. I'm sure he will learn much faster if he had someone to speak with."

"It's not that we don't... I mean... we... we talk. It's not like I don't tell him stuff..." Duo mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"Duo," Sally let out harshly, looking up at him with knowing eyes. "Heero's locked at home all day while you're at work; he has no one to speak with. And when you do come home, what then? Do you talk to him? Do you spend time with him? Do you ask him about his day? Do you take interest in what he has to say?"

With each one of Sally's words, Duo's face paled more and more. The answer for each one of Sally's questions was a definite no. He did none of the above. He just made sure Heero was warm and safe and well fed. He came back home and gave him his dinner, but he never asked him what he did all day. He tucked him to bed and instead of wishing him sweet dreams, he argued with him that he shouldn't sleep with the light on. He would give him breakfast and leave him his lunch for later, but he didn't leave him something to do while he went to work. He just waited for Heero to come out of this all on his own. He actually believed that the boy would come to by himself, and all he had to do was wait.

But in waiting, he ended up delaying Heero's recovery.

"Duo," Sally's voice drew him out of his musings, and he looked up. "Duo, you chose to stay with Heero, and I understand that. I also understand how hard it is for you, believe me that I do. It's hard for all of us to see him like this. But if you can't handle taking care of him, if after all this time you are still unable to cope, I think you should consider letting go."

Duo's eyes widened, and his face paled even more. "What are you saying, Sal? That I should just give up?"

"You're not doing him any good, Duo." Wufei replied instead of his wife. "We have to keep Heero's well-being in mind."

"But he likes it here!" Duo protested, jumping out of his chair. "He WANTS to be here!"

"That's because he got attached to you, Duo. I warned you when we started this. I told you to consider this well before you take him in." Sally explained with a sigh. "He knows nothing better, Duo."

"You're saying that I should send him away..." Duo whispered, sagging back into his chair, his body numb from shock. "You're saying that I should just give up on Heero?"

"It is in my professional opinion, that Heero is better off in a special institute, yes." She sighed, shifting her hold on the baby, and looking up at Duo in a sympathetic gaze. "As a friend, it hurts me to say this. I care for the both of you dearly, and I want the best for the two of you. Duo, I think that you should consider this option, before it's too late."

Violet eyes filled with teats and Duo could do nothing but to stare down at his trembling hands. His face grew hot and red with self-loathing, his features pained and his expression lost. "I..." He choked out, and then trailed off, having nothing to say. He took a deep breath, burying his pale features in his hands. "I..." There was nothing he _could_ say.

Cobalt blue eyes stared numbly at the small night lamp, shimmering with unshed tears. Heero lay in his bed, curled into a small human ball, Yoshi held tightly in his arms. He was looking at the soft orange light emitting from the lamp, his expression forlorn.

Sleeping with a light helped him sleep better. Lying in the dark always made him think of the Bad Dark Place and the Bad Man who lived in the shadows. He knew that everybody else didn't need a lamp. Do-chan didn't have one and he never saw one in Sally and Chang's room. Meiran had a cow lamp in her room, but she was small and he wasn't. Everybody else wasn't so small either and they didn't sleep with a light.

Heero sighed sadly and closed his eyes. Everybody else could say big words like 'misschovocous' too.

He opened his eyes, looking around sadly. His blue eyes scanned the room, a few tears escaping his eyes and sliding down to the pillow. Determined, he shifted his gaze up to the night lamp and held the switch in his hand. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes tight and prepared to close the switch. He stopped himself though, his eyes flying open again. He took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, and then slowly, carefully, pushed himself to the edge of the bed. Hugging Yoshi tightly, protecting his friend, Heero bent down to check under the bed, making sure no one was hiding in the shadows. Relaxing a little when he saw that there was no one there, he scanned the room one last time and then turned back to the lamp.

He turned off the light and hurried to curl on the bed, holding Yoshi securely. His eyes were closed tightly, his body trembling in fear.

Lying in the dark always made him think about the Bad Man and his Hands. They were always there and you can never know when they will be nice and when they will hurt. Sometimes there were voices, and then you can tell that the Bad Man was coming to you from the shadows. Sometimes it was good when he came, because he brought Good Things. But then it was bad because you always had to pay him back for the Good Things. You had to let him do the Bad Things.

Noises came from the outside and Heero's breathing became frantic, his trembling increasing.

He couldn't take it anymore and he whimpered, flinging his hands up and flipping on the light.

He lay still, panting, his heart racing, pounding strongly against this rib cage.

His eyes remained focused on a single framed photo lying on his nightstand. He had found this photo a long time ago, during his 'explorations' around the house. It was a photo of Do-chan and the 'Old Heero'. Do-chan had told him about the 'Old Heero'. He told him how different he was and how smart he was and how he knew everything. Heero knew that he was very different from the 'Old Heero', but he still knew that he _was_ the real and only Heero now. The 'Old Heero' was gone, and he was all that was left. Do-chan said that it was okay, that he wasn't mad, but Heero figured that he meant that he wasn't mad at the 'Old Heero'. With him, he was always mad. It was just because he wasn't smart enough, like everybody else are.

Sighing, Heero reached for the picture and lifted it up to his face. He examined the 'Old Heero's' face, his expression miserable as he was faced with Do-chan's smiling face, right next to the 'Old Heero'. It was a nice picture, and he liked it because it had snow in it. He never saw snow before, and he thought that it must be very pretty. In the picture, Do-chan was wearing a very funny orange coat, and a purple headset over his ears. He had his arm around the 'Old Heero' and the other boy was holding him too. They were both smiling (though the 'Old Heero's' smile was very small) and they looked very happy. It must be because that there was a lot of snow around them, and there was even a snowman. He never built a snowman, but he thought that it would be fun if he could. But it wasn't the reason the two were smiling. They were smiling because they were happy. Do-chan used to smile a lot.

Heero sighed and reached out a hand, gently caressing Do-chan's smiling face. Sometimes Do-chan smiled at people in the street, and sometimes, and those were the best times, he would smile at him. But it didn't happen a lot.

He bet that the 'Old Heero' was never afraid of the dark. He bet that he didn't sleep with a night lamp and that he could say big words like 'misschovounos'. Do-chan probably smiled a lot because the 'Old Heero' was VERY VERY smart.

Not like him.

He couldn't help it and a whimper escaped his lips. His trembling hand gently placed the picture on the nightstand, touching it as if it was some holy artifact. Do-chan never took a picture of him, so he only had this picture to keep. It was okay, because he and the 'Old Heero' looked about the same. And Do-chan was smiling here, so it was a VERY nice picture. He cherished Do-chan's smile dearly, sometimes even more than he cherished Yoshi.

Closing his eyes, Heero curled tightly on the bed, holding Yoshi close to his heart. He let out another small whimper and then closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But all he could think of was Do-chan's smile and how much he wanted him to take a picture of him too.

As silver tears ran out of his shut eyes, Heero cried silently in his bed, whispering into thin air: "...missco... misscho... mischovunos... mischovouns. . ."

"Goodnight Duo. I'll be seeing you in the office." Wufei spoke with a soft smile and shook Duo's hand.

"Yeah, bye Fei." Duo answered, holding the door open, a small smile on his face. "Drive safely."

Wufei nodded, holding onto Meiran's pram. The baby was sleeping soundly in her small pram, sucking on her thumb. "I will." Wufei promised and pushed the pram out the door.

"That was a great dinner, Duo. Better than I excepted." Sally spoke with a wink, hugging Duo before she left to the door.

"Heh, thanks Sal. I told you I don't eat junk food." Duo answered with half a smile.

"Only when I'm around." Sally teased, seeing straight through Duo's bitter smile.

Duo rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Well, goodnight, Duo. You take car of yourself, you hear?" Sally added, right before leaving.

"I'll try." Duo joked, forcing out a chuckle.

Blue eyes looked at him harshly. "I mean it, Duo."

"Yeah, I know, thanks Sal." He let out seriously, nodding his head. He walked the young woman out the door and into the hallway, where Wufei was waiting. "Bye Mei-chan! Don't give them too much trouble." He called quietly, waving a goodbye at the small, sleeping, infant.

Sally smiled, and bent down to kiss his cheek as a finale goodbye. Duo smiled faintly watched the three leave and then walked back in, closing the door. He then leaned on it and sighed heavily, his eyes looking around the empty apartment, suddenly feeling very alone. He could feel Heero's presence in his bedroom, but it was a small comfort.

Duo closed his eyes sadly and with a sigh, he pushed himself off the door. He set to clear the table and do the dishes, working alone in a silent and heavy atmosphere. His violet eyes shone under the hard kitchen light, glistering with unshed tears that slid down to his cheeks and into the sink. He sniffled quietly, wiping the tears away with his sleeve from time to time.

It was time he began to face it.

This isn't working out.

He can't go on like this.

Heero had to go.

The next evening, Duo silently entered Heero's room. He had spent the whole day brooding and thinking and soul searching until he had to face the inevitable. All that was left to do, was tell Heero.

The said boy was lying curled up in his bed, facing the nightstand. Yoshi was held tightly in his arms, though Duo had made sure that the bear would lie on the nightstand and not the bed before he left the room. The hell with it! It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

Sighing, he approached the bed slowly and carefully sat down on the edge, looking down at Heero with a wretched expression. He took his time in just studying the boy's sleeping features, his own features softening at the sight. Heero's bronze skin looked rich and golden under the dim orange light, his expression peaceful and his chocolate-brown bangs sprawled carelessly over the pillow as he slept. His lips, once pale pink and now back to their rich and rosebud color, were slightly parted as he breathed, his steady breathing teasing a few stray hairs up and down. Yoshi lay securely in his arms, his head pressed against Heero's chest.

When he looked over to the nightstand, he could see Heero's favorite picture standing proudly, and next to it, lay a small piece of paper and a few crayons. Looking down at the paper, Duo could see that it was a drawing Heero had made. He vaguely remembered Heero showing him the drawing, but he never really looked at it, and just muttered a few hollow words, saying that it was 'nice'. Now, he could see that it was a picture of a snowman, a smiling one. He also had a long, snow braid. Next to it, stood a stick figure of a boy. He too had a braid, but he wasn't smiling. He looked very angry. Duo's heart clench painfully at the sight and he hurried to look away. He sighed, took a deep breath, and slowly turned back to face the sleeping boy. Sighing sadly, he reached down a hand and gently placed in on Heero's shoulder. He nudged the boy slightly.

Cobalt blue eyes slowly fluttered open, and Heero stirred a little, sheets rustling. When he was lucid enough, he opened his eyes fully and looked up at the one who woke him. When cobalt met violet, a shy smile appeared on Heero's features. The boy rubbed his eyes, turning to lie on his back, smiling up at Duo.

"Hey." Duo whispered, smiling sadly at the boy. "I'm sorry to wake you." He continued silently, reaching down to push a few hairs out of Heero's eyes.

The Japanese boy smiled and closed his eyes at the tender touch, sighing pleasantly.

"I have something important to tell you, Hee-chan."

The blue eyes flew wide open, fear, confusion and worry swirling within the cobalt oceans. "Wha... a... a question?" The boy stuttered, his voice suddenly small and uncertain.

Duo sighed and shook his head. "No. Not a question."

"Oh." Heero let out sadly, bowing his head. "Something bad, right?"

Duo sighed again, closing his eyes. He nodded.

Taking in a shaky breath, Heero sniffled and tried to fight off the tears. He refused to lift his gaze up from the bed, waiting for Duo to speak.

"I'm going away for a while, Heero."

His hold on Yoshi tightened, his fists clenched.

"I... I have to... I... I need some time alone..." Duo whispered, his voice heavy with tears. He lifted his gaze, looking at Heero, violet eyes shimmering with tears. "You understand, right Heero?"

There was no answer, though he could hear the boy sniffle.

Duo sighed, reaching down his hand for Heero's. But the boy pulled away.

"But what I do wrong? Why are you so mad all time? I do everyhing wrong? I try hard!" Heero cried, tears flooding his eyes. "I try more hard! Please Do-chan! I try more hard!"

"Heero," Duo let out, not knowing exactly how to say. "Heero, that's not it... It's not what you do or don't do..."

"Then why you want to go?" Heero wept pathetically, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. "I can be better!" He called, two hands flying and grabbing Duo's arms. "Ne, Do-chan? I do better and you stay? Ne?" Seeing that Duo was not responding, Heero tugged desperately at his hands. "...ne?"

Duo sighed and pulled away, placing his hands in his lap as he turned his back to Heero. He looked up numbly at the opposite wall, tears trailing down his cheeks.

Heero sniffled and staggered back a little, hurt by Duo's reaction. He brought Yoshi up to his chest, holding him tightly as he looked at Duo with shimmeirng blue eyes. "...ne? Do-chan..? ...ne?"

Taking a deep breath, Duo bowed his head and slowly shook it from side to side. "It's just... it's just that everything is so confusing right now, Heero... I... just need time, that's all. I just need time to think..."

Heero's crying increased, and he was trembling hard now. "I come with you?"

"I just need time." Duo repeated, ignoring Heero's pleas, his voice sad and quiet.

"But I can do better..." Heero whispered, tearful cobalt eyes peeking out from between messy bangs. "I can... I can learn... I can... I know all the words Do-chan! I promise!" He cried, his voice turning hysteric. "I promise Do-chan! I promise I know all the words!" He called desperately, reaching up two hands towards Duo, grabbing the braided boy's hands tightly, his own arms shaking.

"Heero..." Duo whispered sadly, looking down at the boy with pained violet eyes. "Heero, I'm sorry. But I just..."

"I learn all the big words!" Heero promised, his eyes pleading with Duo. "I'll know all the big ones Do-chan! I learn all the big ones!"

"Heero..." Duo choked out from between the tears. He reached up a hand and gently caressed Heero's tender cheek, wiping away the hot droplets of salty tears. "Heero, it's not that... I... I'm just a little confused right now and..."

"Why you not want me anymore? I can know all the words, Do-chan! I promise!" Heero cried, coming to sit up on his knees, holding Duo's hands and looking up at him desperately.

"Heero, I need time. I have to get out of here. I... I have to. Please try to understand." Duo whispered, reaching up to pet Heero's messy hair. "Please, Hee-chan. Please try to understand that."

Sniffling, Heero bowed his head and let go of Duo's hands. He reached back for Yoshi, dragging the small bear over the bed and then he brought him up to lie on his lap. He looked down sadly at the small bear, sobbing and sniffling as his fingers played with the soft fur.

"You... you come back, right?" He whispered, afraid of the answer, so he didn't look up.

Duo sighed, looking down at Heero thoughtfully. It was a long time before he could bring himself to answer. "Yes, Heero, I'll come back." _If only to say goodbye... _

Heero sniffled, still looking down at the bear, his fingers playing with it. "Then I... I wait for you, okay?" He asked quietly, his voice small and miserable. "I can... I can make the food too... I learn how..." He mumbled, his vision blurry from tears. "You teach me?"

Duo didn't answer, and just nodded his head ever so slightly. With a great sigh, he pushed himself off the bed and prepared to leave. "I'll bring you over to Fei and Sally, kay?"

On the bed, Heero merely nodded, unable to lift his gaze up and look into those hurting violet eyes. He guessed that the answer was a 'no'. He got Do-chan so mad that he didn't want to teach him anything anymore. He wasn't smart enough to learn anyway.

"Goodnight." Duo let out with a sigh, and then walked away, closing the door behind him.

Heero remained kneeling down on the bed, crying silently. He slowly brought Yoshi up and hugged him tightly, tucking the small head under his chin and closing his eyes tightly. His thin figure looked so small land so alone, seated like that on the small bed, holding his bear as if it could make everything all right.

He threw himself down at the covers, curling into a small ball and crying brokenly into his friend's small body.

"Miss... misscho... misscovoune... mischi... evou... mischievou..." He whispered between sobs and tears, curling even more into a fetal position. "...mischievous... mischievous... I can say it now, Do-chan... please... I can say it now... mischievous..." He cried over and over, his tears staining the pillow and his trembling shaking the small bed. "Just like everybody else... Do-chan... just like everybody else..."

Tearful cobalt eyes looked up at the picture on the nightstand and the sobs increased. He reached up a shaking hand and took the picture, his tearful eyes glued to the image of Duo's smiling face. He looked deeply into those shining violet eyes, lighted with laughter and content. Usually he would smile back at the picture, but now it only brought more sobs and a painful feeling in his chest.

He whimpered, curling back on the bed, hugging the picture and Yoshi close to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Do-chan... I'm sorry I not like everybody else... I'm sorry..." He cried until he fell asleep, curled on the bed, hugging the picture and his bear. "No one smile at us, Yoshi... no one smiles..."

* * *

**TBC...**


End file.
